10 and 11 Weeks Out

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Less than 70 days till I step on that stage in my hooker heals and sparkly bikini! Oh my gosh guys.. If you ever think about doing this make sure your ready for all the craziness that goes with it haha. A part of it is pretty simple if you think about it, eat super clean 24/7 along with some pretty intense workouts.

But along with the obvious, no one really talks about the mental aspect of it. There will be days you will want to quit, not give it your all, slack off, cheat on your diet, want to eat an entire subway sandwich and oh so many more things. But needless to say were doing this! ( I keep having to tell myself that for some reason).

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So here is my 10 and 11 weeks out pics and I’m not sure if its because I had a really weird dream the other day but I kind of had an epiphany. After all the things I’ve been through with preparing for this and just in life in general (car accident on my birthday, first broken bone, still dealing with getting my settlement and of course some family craziness ..who doesn’t have those haha)  along with weight (gain and loss), struggles with self acceptance, eating habits, knowledge and just learning to believe in myself its kinda ironic that I have to pep talk myself up sometimes.

With that being said I made a short little list ( and I have more than this) but here are some top reasons I keep telling myself WHY I’m doing this. Its always important to have a goal, but more importantly you need to have a WHY. And your Why ideally should almost scare you, make you cry in joy and excite you all in one…

And your “why’s” should be more than the obvious … like to look hot… common everyone wants that but its not deep. Dig deep!!!

  1. To prove to myself and others (more for myself though) that I can do this the healthy way. To be healthy mind, body, soul and to not have any self hate towards myself as a person nor towards the body I live in.
  2. To push myself  ( I’ve always had a good sense of drive with whatever I choose to do) When I think about how hard something is I want to automatically realize that I can accomplish anything. Put in the work, get the results of the work put in. Not easy but it will be worth it.
  3. I can honestly say that I no longer want to be “skinny” nor do I really like that word either… skinny. It rubs me the wrong way now, and for a good reason. I can see a girl walking around who is particularly “Skinny”… That’s not my goal anymore, nor is it honestly attractive to me really (just my opinion). I want to be “FIT” I want people to look at me and tell that I strive for this, that I work for it and I look healthy. A well build physique is attractive to me, no one can buy it or give it to me and it shows that I put in the work to obtain it.
  4. I also like to think of myself in the future. I see so many adults or even people who are younger than me have too many health problems and usually looking and even acting 20 years older than they are. Not only that but they have kids and its hard for them to keep up with their own kids. I want my family to be active, healthy and I want to enjoy that with them when the time comes. I see it as I pay a little extra to take care of myself now so I wont have to pay for it when I get older at the doctors.
  5. .. this one really isn’t a “why” but … when you start to see things in a positive light, more and more positive things start to come to you. You get a promotion, you receive good news from a friend … ect. the more positive vibes if you will that you put out there, the more that will come your way. sounds crazy but its true. … don’t believe me. try it .. just for shits and giggles =)

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wpid-img_20140731_105255.jpgSlow progress but its still progress. Pacience is key here and staying motivated can take its toll.

” Decide you want it more than your afraid of it!!” – Bill Cosby

 

ps.. I also found this gum and its amazing haha. Thought I would share it with ya’ll. Its called Yum Yum Gum. They pretty much have every flavor thought of … when pumpkin pie gets in season … OH ITS ON!!! =P

 

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UPDATE: ….. setbacks wont stop me.

HAHA, so just a little update if your not friends with me on Facebook or don’t follow my instagram… New years hit, got a new trainer … was back at the gym doing my thing and prepping for the fitness competition still after all the holiday mumbo jumbo and the night before my birthday I got in a pretty bad car accident. I got t-boned on my passenger side, (thank god I didn’t have a passenger in that seat!) totaled my car, broke my first bone (my wrist) and had my first trip to the ER. whoo… my o my. Afterwards I thought I chipped my tooth because it was hurting to the extremes, turns out the accident just aggravated a root cannel I needed to get done … so there went some more money down the drain and it started to feel like u couldn’t catch a break since it had been 2 weeks and I hadn’t heard anything from my insurance about my car much less my medical stuff. And I still didn’t have a rental car….

After that, I kind of felt aggravated with myself because I’m the kind of person who likes to do things on her own. I’ve always been kind of independent that way. So with my boyfriend and everyone having to help me with simple little things I was feeling a little let down and just more nervous as to when I was going to be able to do all the things I did before. After a few meltdowns (usually over nothing or something very small) I realized my pain medication was making me depressed so I got off of those and that helped but I’m still jumpy when I see a car out of the corner of my eye while driving, but I know it will go away in time.

Finally insurance decided to help me out and get me a renal car (a tiny ass fiat 500… I live in Colorado and its the middle of winter people) but it was better than the rear wheel sports car they wanted to put me in right after it was a blizzard outside. They gave my money for my old car that was proclaimed a total loss.. and I went out searching for a new car. Thinking I found the car (craigslist – independent offer from the looks of the add). We met the guy looked at it, Evan (my boyfriend) being a mechanic could tell it had been wrecked but the owner said it was just small… So as I go to the bank the next day to pull out a loan I call the guy to make sure I spell his name right on the check… he said I have to go through his dealer Lada Auto Sales … (flag #1). If it was at a dealer, why didn’t the Craigslist state that and why did we meet somewhere instead of at the dealership?…. Then, his manager called me telling me there was going to be all these fees (Flag#2) which is one of the reasons we were looking on craigslist so we wouldn’t have those fees… and the guy that showed us the cars even said there were going to be none. So as I get the loan and everything set up I get this feeling in my gut then something is wrong… I tell Evan everything that’s been going on and the next day at work he pulls the Carfax. Turns out the car was a total loss vehicle and they fixed it up. So lie after lie, the guy calls me asking when Im going to come pick it up and I basically turn into a mother, chewing him out and asking him to explain himself lol….. he basically had nothing to say but “he didn’t lie” ***ahem…bullshit** and that he was going to pay the dealer fees …? stupid if you ask me. Evan called the dealership and talked to the manager and basically told him what was up and he said the same crap! …So we reported them to the BBB (Better Business Burro).

Here’s the real kicker …. when you pull out a loan from a bank for a car, you have to have full coverage insurance on that car…. you cant get insurance on a vehicle when its been a total loss…. so I would have been screwed either way. But ya know, they said what they were doing wasn’t illegal and that car had a Clean Title …. oye!

So after all that we decided ..just for peace of mind… to go through a dealership to find a car. So I came back to Toyota and started looking at Camry’s for the heck of it .. and I found a car! And I fricken love it!!! 2009, V6, fully loaded, leather and black interior, Red outside… its pretty=) After buying this car, turning in the peanut ( I called the fiat that because it was sooo small) I felt a weight lift. I (hopefully) get my cast off Wednesday .. and will probably have to do physical therapy. . . .

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I’ve been going to the gym and doing cardio and legs with my cast .. gotten some weird looks but I  don’t care.. hahaha. cant wait till I can start doing arms and back again….

So all in all, that’s whats been going on and why I haven’t had many posts since the beginning of the year… so as I get through all this, they will slowly start to increase more =)

Hope ya’ll are having a wonderful day!