I DID IT! My Journey through my First Fitness Bikini Competition

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Sorry this post has taken me so long to write, I’ve been going through a little soul searching after my show (which I plan on doing another post on that next … but its been an interesting ride , that’s for sure! )

BUT anyways…. Well…. I DID IT!!! And holy crap was it hard! Probably one of the hardest things I’ve done so far, and funny thing is I cant wait to do another!!!

How was it? Really fun yet stressful and exhausting too. But it was all worth it, wanna know why???? Because I placed Top 5 in both the classes I entered in!!! =)

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So going into this competition, quite honestly I wasn’t expecting to “win” anything because in my mind, I had already won with myself losing 85 pounds. And my thought process was if I won something , then hell, more power to me! Ideally my goal was to make it to a competition and I had done just that.

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Back stage during the show, fixing up spray tans and getting oily and ready to step on stage I was actually pretty calm. I have a  major in theatre so the stage isn’t really scary to me it was more of the omg I just don’t want to trip on my heals or forget my poses/transitions (which I did  hahaha).

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During first callouts, when they called my number I almost remember looking down at my number to make sure that was in fact the number they were calling. As I walked forward the look on my coaches face was priceless, as he nudged my posing coach and automatically grabbed his camera. That moment right there is one of the reasons I’m going to do another show in the future. You could see that he was very proud and excited that they called my number, especially since it was my first show. Then the second class I entered in they had called out 4 numbers and then who’s do they call next? MINE! so I made 1st callouts in both the classes I entered in! (first call outs a pretty much placing the top 5) – which was funny at the time because I didn’t realize that’s how it worked so I thought they were just calling my number to call my number hahaahah.

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As time goes on, and people start coming in the door for the show, we all start talking about the treats we brought for afterwards. Some made cupcakes and such…. I made a little something called slutty brownies. what are slutty brownies you may ask? Amazing!! …one layer of cookie dough, one layer of Oreo (I used cookie dough Oreos) and a layer of brownie. yummmmmmmmmmm and boy were they good.. but they made me sick =(

As the “show” started, (they do pre judging in the morning and then a “show with music and everything towards the night for an audience) My boyfriend and his family came, my aunt and my father came to support me… unfortunately bikini goes on stage last so I got to mingle with them a little before and during the show and you could tell they all were very proud of me.

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My aunt mentioned going to dinner afterwards so I’m back stage thinking about food haha, Evans dad was randomly taking pictures of the “hot” girls and my dad was joking with Evan the entire time about needing to workout , or maybe just needing a beer instead haha. After the show, besides eating 3 of my brownies, a red velvet brownie another competitor made and a macaroon…  we went to Hacienda ( I decided Mexican food was much needed) and I downed 2 chicken enchiladas and a chicken taco… topped with chili and cheese and everything haha. Then when we got home I had a few Oreos dipped in almond butter, a sandwich, and some fig nutons. By this time I was definitely in a food coma.

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The next morning, sine the family has made bbq ribs in front of me like 3 times during this prep I told Evan that’s what I wanted for dinner so he prepared that all day. In the mean time I ate a pumpkin pop tart, a small bowl of spaghetti, 3 waffles with a massive amount of fruit on top and by this time I was sick. .. And by the time the ribs and bbq was read it was all I could do to down one fricken rib.. I felt bad since he cooked all day and I couldn’t even bring myself to eat any of it….

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quite honestly I wasn’t planning on eating all the things I did, I wanted to still keep my hard work at bay but since I basically had some issues with binge eating before (which is what my next post is going to be about ) it was almost like I couldn’t stop. It almost got to the point of embarrassment with how much food I consumed and I wasn’t proud of it at all, yet I still kept eating. . . . as the water weight came back on and some extra weight as well from all the crappy food .. I started feeling lethargic, unmotivated and questioning if this competition was a good idea …

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As these last few weeks pressed on a kept in touch with my coach and telling him how much I’ve gained was a wake up call in itself. I told him I needed more goals to shoot for because a part of me had been prepping for sooooo long for this competition that I almost felt like a “what’s next” moment and didn’t know exactly where to go. But with that being said, I’ve learned my lesion and man , oh man, cardio is SO much harder when you have crap in your system .. it literally does NOTHING to fuel you for a intense workout.

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So all in all, I had a blast, was it worth it still after the aftermath of binging. yes, because I’m still learning to love myself obviously.. and I’m still working on processing how I see myself as well… I know I’m not perfect, no one is. Its your choice to either learn and grow from certain screw ups .. or you can let them overpower and consume you. But untimely its all up to you.

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6 and 5 weeks out

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As time goes on and the days pass a part of me is so nervous and excited and just thrilled I’m actually doing this (no turning back now!) but another part of me is rather relived and happy its almost over. Weird I know. I feel like the whole thing is going to be a bittersweet moment. The joy of being up on that stage (I’ve always loved the limelight ) knowing that I accomplished this goal that in all honestly was WAY harder to complete then I even imagined when I first started. But yet, I can begin to “live” again. Most people don’t realize how hard it is to sit there at a wedding/ baby shower/ anywhere with your 3oz of chicken and 8 asparagus spears while everyone else gorges on things like cake and BBQ ribs in front of you. Me, personally I didn’t mind it, I learned to live through other people, especially Evan hahaha. When we went on our vacation up to Vail I brought all my food and still continued to eat just like I do now, meanwhile he had things like pizza, peach pie, big burgers…… fricken waffle fries.. (not going to lie I wanted a waffle fry haha)

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When a friend of mine was telling me about “off season” and how all the pros of fitness take time off they eat things like pizza, doughnuts and good stuff.. I thought it sounded silly. Since the past 3-4 years through my whole weight loss I literally cannot remember the last time I ate a piece of pizza and since I have been eating clean for this long my thought when she said that to me was “but why would I ruin what I’ve just done??”

Let me just tell you now, I understand completely what she was talking about! through this prep (granted mine was a bit harder because I’ve been on such a prolonged clean diet for so long) … but literally I’ve never craved so much “unhealthy” food in my entire life. I probably pinned about 80 different pumpkin desert recipes on my pinterest the other day- no joke! And the fact that my body is handling whey (dairy) better now makes it even more dangerous!

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So not really sure what’s going to happen at the end of all this to be quite honest. I don’t want to make myself sick (even though I hear that is totally something every competitor does after a show hahah) but I do have a nice little list in my mind of all the different foods I want after this is over. Things like BBQ ribs, pumpkin….. well pumpkin anything!, Oreos, smothered burrito, tostadas, spaghetti … the list goes on…. guess we will see what happens eh?

 

ok without further ado, here are my 6 week and 5 week updates.

6 weeks out

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5 weeks

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I also got to pick out the color of my bikini! How exciting… I was so happy when my coach told me I should do pink or purple (my two favorite colors!!! ) so we opted for one in between its kinda a pinky-purple. … and it matches my gym bag, and my food prep bag haha. LOVE!!! I also was going back and forth between which connectors to use (connectors are the jewels on the bikini that hold it together… I picked the ones I’m going to use.. ya’ll will just have to wait and see which ones heee heee ;P

wpid-img_20140904_172117.jpgoh and I found more amazing PB that I can only eat when Evan isn’t around hahaha .. they need to make flavored almond butter and we’d be in business!!! Also here are some fun pics of Vail!! .. lol our maid probably thought a weirdo was staying there. =P

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9 and 8 weeks

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Ha! Can you tell I’ve been busy and cant keep up with this! haha eh, its life. So here are my 9 and 8 weeks out pics and updates .. its getting difficult and the cravings are seriously insane. You’d think it would be simple not to crave food and just eat your chicken and veggies… but it .. its really not that simple especially since I have a nut butter addiction I’ve decided. hahaha.

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So with this whole competition this I keep saying that I feel like one of the “bigger” girls on the team that I’m on.. a lot of his clients have either done a show before or start off pretty fit to begin with.. and I was telling Evan that I wish there was just maybe one person in the same boat as me, fit, healthy but still had maybe a little to lose still… and this was his response.

…. ps I hate him when he says it like it is lol but I love him so much because it so true … (this isn’t his exact words but its pretty much a few conversations all wrapped into one )      he said, well that’s the difference, that’s why you have to keep pushing, you ARE that person that others will look up to and inspire. You ARE that person that is going to prove to others that its possible if you put your mind to it. BE that person. That’s what you’ve been doing all along anyways and its never stopped you, its never held you back, its supposed to be hard but you continue to learn through it and challenge yourself.

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haha so needless to say he is exactly right I also have realized Im on my own journey, not anyone else’s. I cant compare myself to a girl who is already 120 lbs, I have to compare myself to myself… that’s what this sport is about. Competing with yourself, making yourself better day by day, show by show and continuing to make changes within yourself. There will always be someone ahead of you and there will always be someone behind you in whatever you do. <— remember that!

So here they are .. Ill have another one up soon too since my 7 weeks out is on Thursday haha. Ops! I’m slacking on this blog sorry ya’ll .

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Remember you beautiful no matter what, believe in yourself 100% and do whatever makes you happy. The rest will fall into place! =)

ps if you know me, you know I’m a pumpkin freak! So all this pumpkin spice stuff coming out is KILLING me haha… but I did find Peanut Butter that’s is PUMPKIN SPICE!! BOOM I can eat that hahhaha (just cant kiss my boyfriend on those days since hes allergic haha. )

wpid-img_20140813_102600.jpgOMG RIGHT?!!! NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM NOM …. did I mention NOM !!!

 

Another funny thought … Ive been craving crap I don’t even normally eat .. like doughnuts.. I cant even remember the last time I ate a flippin doughnut .. like a year ago maybe? Buuuuuut, Ive been adding a little dairy into my diet here and there and I’ve been doing ok.. soooo might have to go get some flippin doughnuts at the end of all this! OHHH YEA! .. and by “might have to” I mean .. that’s happening! LMAO.

Booty Workout #2

Figured I hadn’t posted a workout in a while.. this will make your glutes burn! But please during these.. watch your form. Its easy to ingjure your back doing a lot of these.

 

1. Weighted squat -With a DB (dumbbell) or plate hold the weight and let it hang with your arms straight. As you lower into the full squat don’t round your back, arch it and squeeze your butt (glutes) muscles. And come back up! 3 x 15.

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2. Smith Squats – put a desired weight onto the smith machine. As you stand at the bar you want to almost be leaning back into the bar so that when you go down it looks like your sitting in a chair made of air.  Feet at shoulder width apart, lower yourself as low as you can go (lower the better) and always remember to SQUEEZE! =)  As your come back up, don’t lock your knees and stop a the top, go straight back down into the squat until your reps are over. 4×20

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3. Roman Deadlift  – Form… please watch your form! Your back should not be rounded AT ALL! set a desired weight onto the bar, feel shoulder width apart and slowly lower yourself down. Now as you lower yourself down its almost as if your “paint brushing the bar over your legs”. as your bring the bar all the way down to your feet, come back up still keeping that flat back. NO ARCHIG lol. 3 x 15

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4. Cable Kickback – some gyms have a strap specifically for this, some don’t. ( I have my own lol… got it for like $6 bucks at Dicks Sporting Goods …) But you also can use just a basic handle for this too you just have to position your foot so it wont slip out. So strap yourself to the machine, grab ahold of the pole or some cables pulls have a bar you can  hang onto for this purpose. and lean forward almost sticking your butt out a little but and kickback your leg .. hence the name. 10 on each side and repeat for other side. do 3 sets.

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5. Side Hip Extension – lol I like to call this the dog peeing workout hahah … inappropriate? .. maybe lol. But your doing just that. On all fours, back arched your going to lift one leg up like a dog to a fire hydrant would and as you lower it back down, don’t lower it all the way and push it back up so therefor your not stopping in between each rep. 3 x 20

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6. Ball Hip Dips. – LOVE THIS … ok so grab a ball, lay flat on the floor so your in that first position shown. as you lift your hips up it should be an even slope. This (2nd pic) if your actual starting point. Position your feet onto the ball and roll your hips up (its going to feel awkward) but you basically will have a straight line in the air now, don’t dip your butt inwards, keep it squeezed and roll back to that 2nd pic, and repeat. 3 x 20

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sore yet??? =)

Life is hard to balance at times …… (14 and 13 weeks out update)

Oh my gosh guys! Sorry life is definitely busier than usual but I’ll try my best to keep it updated! haha.

Between the training, cooking, eating (all I feel like I do is eat btw haha), work and everything else it is all I can do to just come home and not pass out right away …

Now, if you have been following me on instagram, you’ll know that my weight keep fluctuating and this is something I personally find extremely annoying and I know I need to learn not to let it get to me. … with that being said its a good thing I take measurements now and pictures every week because that’s the only way I’m really seeing a difference. But its a good difference! =)

Week 3 (14 weeks out from show.)

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Going into week 4 (13 weeks out from show)

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hardest part so far? … cardio on those damn stairs.. I tell ya we have a love/hate relationship right now .. and cravings OMG… I just want a PB and J lol….

MY CRAVING CRUSHERS:

  • Gum – deserts
  • mints
  • sparkling water!!! – look for no sugar/sodium/ nothing…
  • tea
  • spices

ooh that  list looks sad lol.

OH also… I have the best boyfriend ever! we past 4 years on the 4th of july … he got me this!!

oh…so … beautiful….

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Lemon & Garlic Kale Chips

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So with my diet being pretty limited to veggies and meat mainly haha, I’m always looking for new ways to spice it up!!! So I made KALE CHIPS! … (even my boyfriend liked them… which was a surprise! ) <— ps. I love when he likes my health food hahah.

Ok enough bibble -babble! On to the Recipe!!!!

Its suuuper simple too. YAY!

You’ll Need:

  • 2 tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
  • A bundle or two of fresh kale, washed and chopped.
  • 6 Garlic cloves, chopped. (or more if ya want… I’m a garlic freak so if you ever ask me… you can never have enough garlic!!!)
  • 1-2 tbsp. Sea Salt (one if you use one bunch, 2 if you make 2 bunches worth)
  • 2 tbsp. Lemon juice or one whole lemon freshly squeezed.
  • 1 tbsp. Black pepper

 

How to:

  • Wash Kale bunches and chop off ends, and then chop into “chip” size pieces.
  • Pre-heat oven to 325
  • In a large bowl mix all ingredients. (Olive Oil, Lemon, Salt, Pepper)
  • Place chopped up kale into bowl and mix around so the oil gets all over it all and you can even let it marinade for a while if you’d like. ( I let mine marinade for about 15 min)
  • On a baking sheet, spread out kale pieces onto sheet and then sprinkle the chopped up garlic cloves on top.
  • Bake for about 15-20 min until the kale pieces seem crispy at the end.
  • Let cool, and ENJOY!!!

Note: it helps if you every once in a while toss the leaves so some don’t end up burnt.. ( you know the ones on the sides of the pan) . …. lol.

 

Be someones Inspiration

So… Not sure how to even start this blog post, but I’m just going to say this.

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You are going to have people that support you and anything you can possibly dream up..and then there are those that .. well, just don’t get it. They either think you’re annoying for posting how awesome you feel after your workout, or seem to not want you to do well. ( or they don’t want to see you doing better than them as it seems).

Going from being bigger (see how I didn’t say fat ) to now being pretty fit I get a lot of inspirational stuff from tons of people, this is the part I LOVE and in all honesty, keeps me going at times. The letters I get from people I don’t even know, friends from high school and college, family and everyone asking for help or even telling me to keep on keeping on. lol. I love the random snapchats of peoples “healthy meals” they send me, I love the gym selfies telling me ” killed myself at the gym” … and I love that more and more people are realizing instead of being “annoyed” or seem put out by someone’s choices to be healthy ..but to learn how to embrace them, praise them for their hard work and maybe even join the club. I feel like we judge each other too much sometimes and I don’t see why we cant all just be ourselves.

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We as people like encouragement,  to be thanked and rewarded, to have that person by your side no matter what. Why not be that person, to be the inspiration. Sure my journey is my journey and will always be, I will always be pushing myself to new limits now..  but when you start changing other peoples journeys and they start looking up to you or they decide not to give up because you’ve inspired them. THAT right there my friends is what its ALL ABOUT and it’s such an amazing thing I cant or don’t know how to even explain it.

 

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And its kind of ironic too. Now that I’m not “big” anymore, I still have feelings of not being accepted. This is my own struggle which I battle all the time and an still learning how to handle. But its the opposite now. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and that people are looking at me because “I’m fat” and I don’t know what I’m doing… I have people look at me in the gym and assume “oh this is easy for her, she probably been small her whole life” I see them watching, staring or whatever you want to call it… but guess what it doesn’t matter….. I’m at the gym for me, the gym is my “me” time. Blare some music and do your own thing, don’t worry about what others are doing, how much they are bench pressing because … Who’s journey is this again ? Yours. LIVE IT.

There are those people that don’t know me and see the possibilities they themselves can make or have if they believe in themselves. There are those who do know me and basically have watched this whole process take place (and boy its been a few years- so don’t get discouraged when it doesn’t “come off right away” it wont… it took time to put it on, its going to take time to take it off. ) But to learn that piece of acceptance of yourself, to actually learn to love yourself and fall in love with the process that is taking place. To not be scared to fail, and learn from that failure, to get back up when knocked down and to not let other peoples opinions flood your mind with negativity … because guess what, they’re only one thing –  an opinion.

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And for those that “don’t get it” or annoyed with you and your journey, guess what, its not their life nor their journey so it doesn’t matter! They don’t need to understand why you are the way you are, if you are true to yourself and just focus on you and what you want out of YOUR life.. life will be amazing. People will walk  away, others will stay and enjoy the ride with you. =) promise you this.

Stay Strong my Lovelies! – always remember two things :

  1. Your stronger and more powerful than your think. Mind. Body. Soul.
  2. You’re beautiful, no matter what! =)

 

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