I DID IT! My Journey through my First Fitness Bikini Competition

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Sorry this post has taken me so long to write, I’ve been going through a little soul searching after my show (which I plan on doing another post on that next … but its been an interesting ride , that’s for sure! )

BUT anyways…. Well…. I DID IT!!! And holy crap was it hard! Probably one of the hardest things I’ve done so far, and funny thing is I cant wait to do another!!!

How was it? Really fun yet stressful and exhausting too. But it was all worth it, wanna know why???? Because I placed Top 5 in both the classes I entered in!!! =)

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So going into this competition, quite honestly I wasn’t expecting to “win” anything because in my mind, I had already won with myself losing 85 pounds. And my thought process was if I won something , then hell, more power to me! Ideally my goal was to make it to a competition and I had done just that.

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Back stage during the show, fixing up spray tans and getting oily and ready to step on stage I was actually pretty calm. I have a  major in theatre so the stage isn’t really scary to me it was more of the omg I just don’t want to trip on my heals or forget my poses/transitions (which I did  hahaha).

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During first callouts, when they called my number I almost remember looking down at my number to make sure that was in fact the number they were calling. As I walked forward the look on my coaches face was priceless, as he nudged my posing coach and automatically grabbed his camera. That moment right there is one of the reasons I’m going to do another show in the future. You could see that he was very proud and excited that they called my number, especially since it was my first show. Then the second class I entered in they had called out 4 numbers and then who’s do they call next? MINE! so I made 1st callouts in both the classes I entered in! (first call outs a pretty much placing the top 5) – which was funny at the time because I didn’t realize that’s how it worked so I thought they were just calling my number to call my number hahaahah.

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As time goes on, and people start coming in the door for the show, we all start talking about the treats we brought for afterwards. Some made cupcakes and such…. I made a little something called slutty brownies. what are slutty brownies you may ask? Amazing!! …one layer of cookie dough, one layer of Oreo (I used cookie dough Oreos) and a layer of brownie. yummmmmmmmmmm and boy were they good.. but they made me sick =(

As the “show” started, (they do pre judging in the morning and then a “show with music and everything towards the night for an audience) My boyfriend and his family came, my aunt and my father came to support me… unfortunately bikini goes on stage last so I got to mingle with them a little before and during the show and you could tell they all were very proud of me.

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My aunt mentioned going to dinner afterwards so I’m back stage thinking about food haha, Evans dad was randomly taking pictures of the “hot” girls and my dad was joking with Evan the entire time about needing to workout , or maybe just needing a beer instead haha. After the show, besides eating 3 of my brownies, a red velvet brownie another competitor made and a macaroon…  we went to Hacienda ( I decided Mexican food was much needed) and I downed 2 chicken enchiladas and a chicken taco… topped with chili and cheese and everything haha. Then when we got home I had a few Oreos dipped in almond butter, a sandwich, and some fig nutons. By this time I was definitely in a food coma.

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The next morning, sine the family has made bbq ribs in front of me like 3 times during this prep I told Evan that’s what I wanted for dinner so he prepared that all day. In the mean time I ate a pumpkin pop tart, a small bowl of spaghetti, 3 waffles with a massive amount of fruit on top and by this time I was sick. .. And by the time the ribs and bbq was read it was all I could do to down one fricken rib.. I felt bad since he cooked all day and I couldn’t even bring myself to eat any of it….

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quite honestly I wasn’t planning on eating all the things I did, I wanted to still keep my hard work at bay but since I basically had some issues with binge eating before (which is what my next post is going to be about ) it was almost like I couldn’t stop. It almost got to the point of embarrassment with how much food I consumed and I wasn’t proud of it at all, yet I still kept eating. . . . as the water weight came back on and some extra weight as well from all the crappy food .. I started feeling lethargic, unmotivated and questioning if this competition was a good idea …

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As these last few weeks pressed on a kept in touch with my coach and telling him how much I’ve gained was a wake up call in itself. I told him I needed more goals to shoot for because a part of me had been prepping for sooooo long for this competition that I almost felt like a “what’s next” moment and didn’t know exactly where to go. But with that being said, I’ve learned my lesion and man , oh man, cardio is SO much harder when you have crap in your system .. it literally does NOTHING to fuel you for a intense workout.

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So all in all, I had a blast, was it worth it still after the aftermath of binging. yes, because I’m still learning to love myself obviously.. and I’m still working on processing how I see myself as well… I know I’m not perfect, no one is. Its your choice to either learn and grow from certain screw ups .. or you can let them overpower and consume you. But untimely its all up to you.

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2 Weeks Out!!

Man o man! Its coming up fast! Not going to lie, I’m a bit nervous but yet I’m excited as well. I’ve been basically preparing for this for a year and I’m only 16 days away from it. Here are my update pictures =)
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Also I must say .. I almost hate my cardio as much as I hate my fish but the combo is helping my stomach get flat. SCORE!

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These past few weeks have been rough, my diet continues to get harder, I keep getting more and more cardio added on, but …. Ive come to realize that its what I asked for, and will it be hard.. hell yes it will, but it will be worth it =)

Its time to get out of my head even when its screaming at me to stop … my heart is what keeps me going. The only excuse you have is the one you make!

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OOOHHHH also I got my jewelry!! and my mom just highlighted my hair so its all coming together quit nicely I think =)

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6 and 5 weeks out

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As time goes on and the days pass a part of me is so nervous and excited and just thrilled I’m actually doing this (no turning back now!) but another part of me is rather relived and happy its almost over. Weird I know. I feel like the whole thing is going to be a bittersweet moment. The joy of being up on that stage (I’ve always loved the limelight ) knowing that I accomplished this goal that in all honestly was WAY harder to complete then I even imagined when I first started. But yet, I can begin to “live” again. Most people don’t realize how hard it is to sit there at a wedding/ baby shower/ anywhere with your 3oz of chicken and 8 asparagus spears while everyone else gorges on things like cake and BBQ ribs in front of you. Me, personally I didn’t mind it, I learned to live through other people, especially Evan hahaha. When we went on our vacation up to Vail I brought all my food and still continued to eat just like I do now, meanwhile he had things like pizza, peach pie, big burgers…… fricken waffle fries.. (not going to lie I wanted a waffle fry haha)

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When a friend of mine was telling me about “off season” and how all the pros of fitness take time off they eat things like pizza, doughnuts and good stuff.. I thought it sounded silly. Since the past 3-4 years through my whole weight loss I literally cannot remember the last time I ate a piece of pizza and since I have been eating clean for this long my thought when she said that to me was “but why would I ruin what I’ve just done??”

Let me just tell you now, I understand completely what she was talking about! through this prep (granted mine was a bit harder because I’ve been on such a prolonged clean diet for so long) … but literally I’ve never craved so much “unhealthy” food in my entire life. I probably pinned about 80 different pumpkin desert recipes on my pinterest the other day- no joke! And the fact that my body is handling whey (dairy) better now makes it even more dangerous!

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So not really sure what’s going to happen at the end of all this to be quite honest. I don’t want to make myself sick (even though I hear that is totally something every competitor does after a show hahah) but I do have a nice little list in my mind of all the different foods I want after this is over. Things like BBQ ribs, pumpkin….. well pumpkin anything!, Oreos, smothered burrito, tostadas, spaghetti … the list goes on…. guess we will see what happens eh?

 

ok without further ado, here are my 6 week and 5 week updates.

6 weeks out

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5 weeks

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I also got to pick out the color of my bikini! How exciting… I was so happy when my coach told me I should do pink or purple (my two favorite colors!!! ) so we opted for one in between its kinda a pinky-purple. … and it matches my gym bag, and my food prep bag haha. LOVE!!! I also was going back and forth between which connectors to use (connectors are the jewels on the bikini that hold it together… I picked the ones I’m going to use.. ya’ll will just have to wait and see which ones heee heee ;P

wpid-img_20140904_172117.jpgoh and I found more amazing PB that I can only eat when Evan isn’t around hahaha .. they need to make flavored almond butter and we’d be in business!!! Also here are some fun pics of Vail!! .. lol our maid probably thought a weirdo was staying there. =P

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I survived Week 1 ! ( 15 Weeks Out)

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HAHA, I like the title of this blog post …. Ok so you may be asking, How did it go? OMG.. talk about some up’s and down’s haha.

  • Diet – I’ve never ate so much food in my life. Its funny when people think you don’t eat and you’re starving yourself to get to this competition weight .. ( even my parents kind of gave me the look of “are you eating?” a few times since I’ve started this goal). When you actually eat whole complete foods and start eating what your body needs to survive instead of things you “want” or “think you need” that’s when you start so see some huge changes. When you actually start focusing on the nutrition side and meeting macronutrients, you’d be surprised how much food you can actually consume and how little or filling an appropriate amount of calories can be and feel. I’m currently carb cycling and hoping to learn more about this ( wanting to do a blog post on it too, but not till I fully understand it since I don’t want to put out information that isn’t correct to you guys) so my calories kind of go up and down. One day it will be around 1700 cal with higher carb down to 1350 cal with higher fat …. its seriously a science and I’m lucky I have a coach through this because I don’t really know what to look for or know what’s working and what isn’t yet.

What kinda of food am I eating? ? TONS of protein haha.

  • Protein – chicken, turkey, beef, shakes
  • Carbs – Oats, Banana, Brown and white rice, Quinoa, Potatoes and Sweet potato
  • Veggies – Kale, green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, romaine and spinach.
  • Fats- mostly almond butter and a little bit coming from my dressing for salads , some avocado, some raw nuts like almonds or cashews.
  • Other Items – Low sugar ketchup (so happy I can have this haha, I’m a ketchup freak and I found one that has only 1 g sugar and 5 calories …and he said go for it!) … he’ll probably take it away closer to comp though, mustard, salsa, any spices (Ms. dash is a staple since its salt free), stevia, tea, every once in a while I will drink a cup of black coffee with stevia but its just not that same as a Starbucks haha , BCAA, lemon juice.
  • water water water- a gallon a day I try to shoot for.

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Pretty simple, yet can be boring at times. I understand sugar addiction even more now and never realized how much I crave bread. Everyday its something random that I’m craving too, one day its fruit, anther I seriously just want a cookie lol.

Things I have been using to bust the cravings…

  • Gum, Deserts gum is amazing haha.. but I have everything from minty, fruity, to cinnamon roll flavor.
  • Tea- you should see how many tea boxes I have right now, ridiculous.
  • I have a few different flavors of BCAA (branch chain amino acids) that help me when I want something sweet
  • Using different seasonings and spices, like I stated before, I have about every Ms. Dash made, and I have tried some weird concoctions on some things you wouldn’t think taste good but do… like tomato, basil, garlic flavor on a cut of steak… waaa?? … I’ve also accepted my “desert time” is in the morning with my oats and banana hahha.
  •  I have gummy multi-vitamins too, I usually try not to take them too often or I rotate them between my days since your body has a harder time digesting a gummy rather than a softgell (plus they have a little more sugar too) but on my lower carb day … it definitely keeps me on track and from losing my shi*.
  • When all else fails… Win and doubt, add more veggies…

So now this next part I thought wasn’t going to be the hard part… HA! I was wrong!! O so wrong!!! Workouts. HOLY SHIT. pardon my language … but Holy…

These workouts are probably the most taxing and difficult workouts I’ve ever done! I figured since I usually spent 2 hours in the gym every day I would have had this part down, I was more nervous about how the diet was going to change. . . . Ha! Rude awakening let me tell you!!

So when I met with my coach to go over everything … he kinda looked at me and was like “lets see how hard you work!” … oh sweet baby Jesus please save me came through my mind…. haha

Its amazing  how a few little tweaks and upping the number or sets and reps and lowering the weights can make THAT much of a difference in not only the difficulty and intensity along with the changes I saw within just the first week!

What do the workouts look like? Its a rotation of 6 days a week, weights and HITT cardio. with 1 rest day (which is low carb day and you’d think I would look forward to rest day, but since I don’t get my endorphins pumping and then with low carbs – which I can see why its low carb since your body mainly needs that “fuel” for your workouts … its just a rough day in general.) … and I may have snapped at Evan ( my boyfriend) a few times and its only week 2…ops! He’s a keeper if he lasts till October.. =)

 

last week :

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This week:

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What I’m noticing with my mentality and overall mindset….

So as I’ve wanted to give into my cravings or wimp put on a few sets of a certain exercise. …. you almost have to pep talk yourself back up. Its so much of a mind game than it is a “prep” its crazy that I’m actually having a struggle with this because this is like the NUMBER ONE thing I honestly believe has a major impact on your life in general. I’ve written a few blogs on the power of positive thinking, and always try to see the positive side to everything. I love motivational speakers, quotes and if you ask me what the big “secret” is … I will always say “You have to believe in yourself and that you can do it.. no doubts” But omg, I almost feel like I wasn’t ready for this next level of belief I guess. I have so much coming towards me all at once that everything I do or don’t do is going to affect my future. And that realization is a bit scary, not going to lie. But a quote I absolutely LOVE and I keep telling myself … “How bad do you want it?” The rest of the quote is below but when I feel like things are too hard, or I just want to be done or quit (Yes, I’m admitting I’ve wanted to quit a few times… Hell I’ve been at this for a year now and I’m only human)… I always ask myself this. And along with that I remind myself … “if it excites you scares the crap out of you at the same time, its probably something you should do”….

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With that being said I’m still going strong and I will do my best to keep you guys updated on everything.

I feel like I’m on the right path, I feel like everyday more and more people come to me and either share their success with me and tell me that I’ve helped them or inspired them and that is like the #1 reason I love what I’m doing. This makes me want to push myself harder than before and its weird because I get that drive from not only making myself better but from you guys. So keep sending me your crazy gym and food prep snap chats because I love them. =)

Some opportunities that have came my way… not sure where they will lead, but anxious to find out!

  • I moved jobs into a supplement store, leading me to meet tons of new people with experience doing what I’m on track to do. Whether they have competed, helped people get to compete or even just meeting people who are just starting out on their weight loss. I always get the “you probably don’t understand” look for the more overweight crowd and when I show them a picture or tell them my story, I can tell it has an effect when I mention to them if I can do it so can they, they just have to believe they can… This is also how I meet my coach. =)
  • I have been offered and audition for a supplement company to be a model and rep their products when I finally get down to that weight and “look” – they even might come to my show and support/watch me!
  • I’ve been asked numerous times if I’m a trainer at my gym, and then the manager asked me if I would like to be one and even offered to pay for the schooling to get a personal training certificate.
  • Tons of people have commented on how much progress I’ve made just in the last few months … ad to keep going.
  • This blog was nominated for an award that sadly didn’t get, but still being nominated is something huge in my mind.

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So what do I want o do? HA I have no clue, just following life where it leads me …

  • personal trainer
  • coach for competitions
  • personal and competition chef
  • fitness model and/or rep
  • competitor ( pro card? )
  • registered dietitian
  • weight loss and health coach

some of those ideas seem so far fetched in my mind right now (but looking back, being 210lbs.. I would have said standing on stage in a bikini was far fetched ha.. ) , but I know if I keep pushing myself towards this, it may become a possibility …. I just have to believe it is .

 

 

Benefits of Cucumbers

Since I’m eating an entire cucumber right now… lets talk about the benefits =P

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  • Very high in water. (95% water actually) So they are good for hydration and eliminating toxins that are in your body.
  • High in vitamins, and almost all vitamins that you need for the day. Remember to eat the skin (which is high in vitamin C)
  • Since its high in vitamins (Including vitamin B) they can be eaten as a snack to help pick you up when you’re body starts to feel tiered. . . . (any food will do this that has a good source of vitamin B by the way…. vitamin b is a mood and energy lifter!)
  • Good for you party people out there. . . eat a few cucumber slices before you go to bed after a night of partying and since it has a good source of water, vitamins and electrolytes …. its none to help with hangovers… (haven’t tried this, just heard about it.)
  • Can be used as a skin soother for sunburns… like aloe does.

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  • Not only on the outside does it help with burns though, its a natural heartburn reliever too.
  • Good source of silica which can help with joint pain.
  • High in fiber so helps aid digestion and keeps ya regular 😉
  • Helps with bags under your eyes. (eat it or put slices on your eyes like they do in the movies… )
  • cancer fighting food. YAY
  • Helps with weight loss because since its a super food (very high-density, high vitamin, and full of fiber and nutrients) you’ll actually feel fuller and wont eat as much.

 

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UPDATE: OMG Life is Hectic!

Hey guys! Just a little update because I feel like I’ve been slacking on my blog (sorry about that). . . . But A LOT has been happening! In the midst of all the holidays to boot, here is what’s been going on ….. about a month ago I got a part time job at The Vitamin Shoppe (whooo! right up my ally right?!?) Super excited about that. And within that first month I got promoted to a full time position and as a mini manager basically. (go me)…

So I’m in the middle of leaving/ or basically stepping down at my other job (Bath and Body Works)  and still holding 2 jobs without driving myself nuts and wearing myself out.  With 12 hour days sometimes, 45- 55 hours a week can kill ya when you don’t have a day off for 2 weeks straight and your trying to keep a gym and blog schedule in tact.. as you can see a few things may have fallen off the wagon. . .

ALSO…..my trainer got transferred to another location, so therefore I have no trainer anymore and have been trying to do this competition training on my own. (been slacking at making it to the gym all the time … not even going to lie) Just the exhaustion from both jobs and running back and forth to the both of them has messed up my gym schedule for sure. I didn’t completely fall off the wagon with this but I have definitely pushed snooze a few times when my alarm goes off for me to go to the gym … haha. But another exciting thing … haven’t messed up on my eating and diet plans… … I actually decided to try out veganism for a while, and so far I feel amazing! I fall asleep better, wake up easier (usually right before my alarm now), my skin is practically clear again, my hair is shinier, my nails are actually growing?!?! (they never grow!) So that’s an awesome thing in my opinion. Cant wait to see how I feel after a month…

Evan (my boyfriend) is a hunter and eats meat like its his job.. haha but he is very supportive and is supportive of me with whatever I decide to do, which is helpful. I’m lucky to have him… =) We kinda complete each other with his manly man grilling and I’m over here with my “hippy salad” as he would call it hahah.  But all in all things are going good, just SUUUUUUUUUUPER BUSY!

So with that said, Ill try to get back to posting as often as I was. and I hope ya’ll are doing good as well!