I DID IT! My Journey through my First Fitness Bikini Competition

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Sorry this post has taken me so long to write, I’ve been going through a little soul searching after my show (which I plan on doing another post on that next … but its been an interesting ride , that’s for sure! )

BUT anyways…. Well…. I DID IT!!! And holy crap was it hard! Probably one of the hardest things I’ve done so far, and funny thing is I cant wait to do another!!!

How was it? Really fun yet stressful and exhausting too. But it was all worth it, wanna know why???? Because I placed Top 5 in both the classes I entered in!!! =)

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So going into this competition, quite honestly I wasn’t expecting to “win” anything because in my mind, I had already won with myself losing 85 pounds. And my thought process was if I won something , then hell, more power to me! Ideally my goal was to make it to a competition and I had done just that.

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Back stage during the show, fixing up spray tans and getting oily and ready to step on stage I was actually pretty calm. I have a  major in theatre so the stage isn’t really scary to me it was more of the omg I just don’t want to trip on my heals or forget my poses/transitions (which I did  hahaha).

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During first callouts, when they called my number I almost remember looking down at my number to make sure that was in fact the number they were calling. As I walked forward the look on my coaches face was priceless, as he nudged my posing coach and automatically grabbed his camera. That moment right there is one of the reasons I’m going to do another show in the future. You could see that he was very proud and excited that they called my number, especially since it was my first show. Then the second class I entered in they had called out 4 numbers and then who’s do they call next? MINE! so I made 1st callouts in both the classes I entered in! (first call outs a pretty much placing the top 5) – which was funny at the time because I didn’t realize that’s how it worked so I thought they were just calling my number to call my number hahaahah.

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As time goes on, and people start coming in the door for the show, we all start talking about the treats we brought for afterwards. Some made cupcakes and such…. I made a little something called slutty brownies. what are slutty brownies you may ask? Amazing!! …one layer of cookie dough, one layer of Oreo (I used cookie dough Oreos) and a layer of brownie. yummmmmmmmmmm and boy were they good.. but they made me sick =(

As the “show” started, (they do pre judging in the morning and then a “show with music and everything towards the night for an audience) My boyfriend and his family came, my aunt and my father came to support me… unfortunately bikini goes on stage last so I got to mingle with them a little before and during the show and you could tell they all were very proud of me.

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My aunt mentioned going to dinner afterwards so I’m back stage thinking about food haha, Evans dad was randomly taking pictures of the “hot” girls and my dad was joking with Evan the entire time about needing to workout , or maybe just needing a beer instead haha. After the show, besides eating 3 of my brownies, a red velvet brownie another competitor made and a macaroon…  we went to Hacienda ( I decided Mexican food was much needed) and I downed 2 chicken enchiladas and a chicken taco… topped with chili and cheese and everything haha. Then when we got home I had a few Oreos dipped in almond butter, a sandwich, and some fig nutons. By this time I was definitely in a food coma.

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The next morning, sine the family has made bbq ribs in front of me like 3 times during this prep I told Evan that’s what I wanted for dinner so he prepared that all day. In the mean time I ate a pumpkin pop tart, a small bowl of spaghetti, 3 waffles with a massive amount of fruit on top and by this time I was sick. .. And by the time the ribs and bbq was read it was all I could do to down one fricken rib.. I felt bad since he cooked all day and I couldn’t even bring myself to eat any of it….

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quite honestly I wasn’t planning on eating all the things I did, I wanted to still keep my hard work at bay but since I basically had some issues with binge eating before (which is what my next post is going to be about ) it was almost like I couldn’t stop. It almost got to the point of embarrassment with how much food I consumed and I wasn’t proud of it at all, yet I still kept eating. . . . as the water weight came back on and some extra weight as well from all the crappy food .. I started feeling lethargic, unmotivated and questioning if this competition was a good idea …

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As these last few weeks pressed on a kept in touch with my coach and telling him how much I’ve gained was a wake up call in itself. I told him I needed more goals to shoot for because a part of me had been prepping for sooooo long for this competition that I almost felt like a “what’s next” moment and didn’t know exactly where to go. But with that being said, I’ve learned my lesion and man , oh man, cardio is SO much harder when you have crap in your system .. it literally does NOTHING to fuel you for a intense workout.

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So all in all, I had a blast, was it worth it still after the aftermath of binging. yes, because I’m still learning to love myself obviously.. and I’m still working on processing how I see myself as well… I know I’m not perfect, no one is. Its your choice to either learn and grow from certain screw ups .. or you can let them overpower and consume you. But untimely its all up to you.

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Tip of the Week # 18: Quality vs. Quanitity

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When it comes to the food you put into your body, its more than just “calories in and calories out”… The food you consume is either going to benefit you nutritionally or its not, its either going to give you energy, vitamins, minerals, fiber and everything else or it may make you feel lethargic, worn out or give you a sugar rush that will most likely die within a few hours. So when picking out your food according to price vs. nutrition is a huge thing that a lot of people have a hard time doing.

All the time I hear “eating healthy is expensive” Yeah sure, some of it can be, not gonna deny that. But… I dare you to go to your produce isle and look at how much a bag of 10 potatoes is, or how much a bunch of spinach or romaine is…. a bag of potatoes is about $4 (and there usually are like 10 potatoes in there!) Then go over to the lettuce options you have (not he pre-packaged pre-made salads the actual bunch of leafs… they usually are about $1 $1.50 each bunch ) If your buy 2 or 3 of those, make your own salad mix A. you usually get more than the pre-packaged salads and B. its usually half the price. Key to buying healthy foods is to know where you can save money.

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Now that I got that rant off my chest with a little example were gonna discuss how quality is so much more important to quality. Sure have a few cookies or a pop tart here and there but not every day. Your goal is to get healthy right? Well here are some things to consider when you reach for that junk food.

  • Fake sugar and sugar in general – Now I’m not saying a little sugar is bad. Sometimes you need a little to keep your sanity hahaha.. and sugar from things like fruit aren’t as bad as your actual table sugar…. When you eat sugar or too much sugar is spikes your insulin levels .. which can result in diseases like diabetes and whatnot. When  you insulin levels are spiked you body is constantly trying to “burn that sugar off” first. And with that insulin being spiked your body is going to have a  harder time getting to that fat burning zone. Needless to say sugar any kind, fake or not, your body isn’t used to the amount we normally put into it  now-a-days. Do you really think our systems as humans were meant to eat potato chips, Oreos and sugary cereal all day? or at all for that matter? Limit your sugar intake and you’ll see a change, guarantee it. (I’ll do a post on how to curn sugar cravings and other options you can use that are better than sugar soon if ya’ll would like.)

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  • Ok so as we talked about Oreos and Cereal …. lets take a look at that. So  yeah its yummy don’t get me wrong and like I said, enjoy a fricken oreo here and there (you need to find a balance) but do NOT eat the whole pack in 2 days haha. So when looking at cereal, have you actually looked at the ingredients in Captain Crunch? (I’m picking Captain because its one or was, one of my favs =)) Besides looking at how many calories are in the food and calling it done, I want you to grab a box of a sugary (usually Kellogg’s) cereal and go over to Kashi cereal. Look at the ingredients on the bottom of the nutrition panel. Do you recognize everything in the Captain Crunch? Do you in the Kashi? I bet there is less in Kashi as well. Now…… here is where people don’t realize. . . . yeah Kashi is $4 and Captain is probably $1 .. $2 I don’t know.. So with that and looking at the ingredents, I bet one of the first few ingredients in Captain is “Enriched Bleached Flour” .. Yup! Its exactly what it sounds like, I might as well go grab my flour, bring it down to the laundry room and make my own. sad to say but yes, its true… they bleach it. and I bet the ingredient sugar isn’t far behind it on the list. On the flipside, Kashi probably says something like “Whole Wheat rolled Oats” or something. Now that should like something healthy right ? … and it definitely doesn’t sound like a chemical shit storm… Pay attention to ingredients and look for as minimal as possible.

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  • Lets talk about nutrition (the main point). So which do you think will fill you up faster? A burger from a fast food place? Or a salad? Well the thing is, they both “fill you up” just depends on how long your going to stay full for, which is going to provide your body with the nutrients, vitamins and fiber your body needs to run at top notch and which one is healthier (because being healthy is the main goal here). If your keeping track of your calories (which you should be because you’d be surprised how much you actually eat sometimes). You will notice how easy it is to get up to 1800 calories by eating crap foods. I mean good grief, 2 chips ahoy cookies is 150 calories alone, and between you and me… I cant just eat two at a time, its usually like 4 or 5 ( which equals 300+ cal) haha. Whereas, if you were to cook up 4oz of chicken and some fresh broccoli or whatever veggie you’d like .. the calories is going to be around 180-200 in that. So now that you see you would get to consume more food by eating healthier foods, you have to stop and think about which one is going to “fuel” your body. 4 cookies or a piece of chicken and veggies. The choice is yours but I think I made my point… plus I don’t know about you… but id rather eat a lot, then only have a small amount of food and feel groggy all day.

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  • One more point, sure at first eating healthy sucks (been there, I used to live on ramen, Tostitos pizza and all kinds of horrible things that I usually don’t eat now .. only for a treat do I do that)  But once you start getting used to it, its really not that bad. You start to get creative in the kitchen, you get a fun cookbook, you start to have fun looking for different spices and herbs. Learn to make it fun, get the whole family in on it and don’t look at it as a chore, your taking care of yourself. I personally like to think that my body is the only one I get, I either spend the money on fresh food or I will spend that money at the dr. later on in life. You’ll also notice a significant change in things like energy, sleep patterns and much more.

Plus I saw brown rice, dry beans and frozen veggies at the dollar store … so don’t tell me its expensive, you’re making excuses.

And don’t feel like you have to do everything at once, I didn’t, take baby steps.. this way you don’t quit or get overwhelmed.

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6 and 5 weeks out

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As time goes on and the days pass a part of me is so nervous and excited and just thrilled I’m actually doing this (no turning back now!) but another part of me is rather relived and happy its almost over. Weird I know. I feel like the whole thing is going to be a bittersweet moment. The joy of being up on that stage (I’ve always loved the limelight ) knowing that I accomplished this goal that in all honestly was WAY harder to complete then I even imagined when I first started. But yet, I can begin to “live” again. Most people don’t realize how hard it is to sit there at a wedding/ baby shower/ anywhere with your 3oz of chicken and 8 asparagus spears while everyone else gorges on things like cake and BBQ ribs in front of you. Me, personally I didn’t mind it, I learned to live through other people, especially Evan hahaha. When we went on our vacation up to Vail I brought all my food and still continued to eat just like I do now, meanwhile he had things like pizza, peach pie, big burgers…… fricken waffle fries.. (not going to lie I wanted a waffle fry haha)

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When a friend of mine was telling me about “off season” and how all the pros of fitness take time off they eat things like pizza, doughnuts and good stuff.. I thought it sounded silly. Since the past 3-4 years through my whole weight loss I literally cannot remember the last time I ate a piece of pizza and since I have been eating clean for this long my thought when she said that to me was “but why would I ruin what I’ve just done??”

Let me just tell you now, I understand completely what she was talking about! through this prep (granted mine was a bit harder because I’ve been on such a prolonged clean diet for so long) … but literally I’ve never craved so much “unhealthy” food in my entire life. I probably pinned about 80 different pumpkin desert recipes on my pinterest the other day- no joke! And the fact that my body is handling whey (dairy) better now makes it even more dangerous!

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So not really sure what’s going to happen at the end of all this to be quite honest. I don’t want to make myself sick (even though I hear that is totally something every competitor does after a show hahah) but I do have a nice little list in my mind of all the different foods I want after this is over. Things like BBQ ribs, pumpkin….. well pumpkin anything!, Oreos, smothered burrito, tostadas, spaghetti … the list goes on…. guess we will see what happens eh?

 

ok without further ado, here are my 6 week and 5 week updates.

6 weeks out

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5 weeks

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I also got to pick out the color of my bikini! How exciting… I was so happy when my coach told me I should do pink or purple (my two favorite colors!!! ) so we opted for one in between its kinda a pinky-purple. … and it matches my gym bag, and my food prep bag haha. LOVE!!! I also was going back and forth between which connectors to use (connectors are the jewels on the bikini that hold it together… I picked the ones I’m going to use.. ya’ll will just have to wait and see which ones heee heee ;P

wpid-img_20140904_172117.jpgoh and I found more amazing PB that I can only eat when Evan isn’t around hahaha .. they need to make flavored almond butter and we’d be in business!!! Also here are some fun pics of Vail!! .. lol our maid probably thought a weirdo was staying there. =P

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7 weeks out! (Bikini Comp)

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Holy Moly time fly’s. 50 days and it will all be over …. kinda sad to think about it that way.. but that’s ok! I plan on taking my off season to kick some more booty and come back in full swing and hopefully do a few next year! Yep! That’s right ya’ll get to see me suffer with my chicken, gallons of water and piles of veggies some more in the future lol. (this way I can post some blogs for ya’ll thinking about doing a competition as well =))

With that being said. I’m 7 weeks out  .. here are my progress pics! I can say I finally am starting to feel like im beginning to look like some of the other bikini girls on the team.. which feels good haha.

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So along why my super low carb diet I have these days he gives me either called cab-loading or re-loading days and they sound amazing and super fun at first because you haven’t had carbs for sooo long haha… but only 3 meals in and still having 3 more to go being stuffed, this is when things get difficult haha. Not only is the extra carbs there but it about doubles my calorie intake that I’ve grown accustom to so its a little sad when I finally get a chance to down some brown rice, quinoa, sweet potato ect .. and I cant fathom eating any more ahaha.. I know I know one min I cant wait to eat , not I look at food and just feel full hahha. I’m a whiner…

wpid-img_20140821_103714.jpg breakfast was yummy tho, that’s one thing I didn’t mind grubbing down on , OATMEAL! nom

So some ideas for blog posts since I know ya’ll wanna know more than what’s going on with me haha. Let me know what you think! AND I’m willing to take suggestions too, just leave them in the comments below!!!

  • healthy protein bars
  • more workouts
  • what to expect when signing up for a bodybuilding competition!
  • mind over matter – controlling cravings
  • why do I binge or over eat?  – looking at the physiological side of it.

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9 and 8 weeks

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Ha! Can you tell I’ve been busy and cant keep up with this! haha eh, its life. So here are my 9 and 8 weeks out pics and updates .. its getting difficult and the cravings are seriously insane. You’d think it would be simple not to crave food and just eat your chicken and veggies… but it .. its really not that simple especially since I have a nut butter addiction I’ve decided. hahaha.

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So with this whole competition this I keep saying that I feel like one of the “bigger” girls on the team that I’m on.. a lot of his clients have either done a show before or start off pretty fit to begin with.. and I was telling Evan that I wish there was just maybe one person in the same boat as me, fit, healthy but still had maybe a little to lose still… and this was his response.

…. ps I hate him when he says it like it is lol but I love him so much because it so true … (this isn’t his exact words but its pretty much a few conversations all wrapped into one )      he said, well that’s the difference, that’s why you have to keep pushing, you ARE that person that others will look up to and inspire. You ARE that person that is going to prove to others that its possible if you put your mind to it. BE that person. That’s what you’ve been doing all along anyways and its never stopped you, its never held you back, its supposed to be hard but you continue to learn through it and challenge yourself.

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haha so needless to say he is exactly right I also have realized Im on my own journey, not anyone else’s. I cant compare myself to a girl who is already 120 lbs, I have to compare myself to myself… that’s what this sport is about. Competing with yourself, making yourself better day by day, show by show and continuing to make changes within yourself. There will always be someone ahead of you and there will always be someone behind you in whatever you do. <— remember that!

So here they are .. Ill have another one up soon too since my 7 weeks out is on Thursday haha. Ops! I’m slacking on this blog sorry ya’ll .

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Remember you beautiful no matter what, believe in yourself 100% and do whatever makes you happy. The rest will fall into place! =)

ps if you know me, you know I’m a pumpkin freak! So all this pumpkin spice stuff coming out is KILLING me haha… but I did find Peanut Butter that’s is PUMPKIN SPICE!! BOOM I can eat that hahhaha (just cant kiss my boyfriend on those days since hes allergic haha. )

wpid-img_20140813_102600.jpgOMG RIGHT?!!! NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM NOM …. did I mention NOM !!!

 

Another funny thought … Ive been craving crap I don’t even normally eat .. like doughnuts.. I cant even remember the last time I ate a flippin doughnut .. like a year ago maybe? Buuuuuut, Ive been adding a little dairy into my diet here and there and I’ve been doing ok.. soooo might have to go get some flippin doughnuts at the end of all this! OHHH YEA! .. and by “might have to” I mean .. that’s happening! LMAO.

Baked Garlic & Herb French Fries (no oil)

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Story time first! … (recipe is below if you don’t want to hear my story lol… but I think it was kinda funny personally)  Ok so my boyfriend actually has been doing pretty good through this whole “I want to do a competition” thing. Hes been helping with food prep, supporting me when I lose my shit and dealing with my low-carb mood swings haha. I’m very blessed, that’s all I have to say! … so anyways…..We were driving around and it was becoming dinner time soon for him anyways ( I still had like 2 more meals to eat) But for the most part he’s been eating what Ive been eating give or take some extra carbs or something for him… So the other day he was like “I’m gonna get Good Times” and kind of gave me a look of “please don’t hate me … and is that ok?” lol and I understand … I’m not going to deprive him from things just because I have a goal… its not his goal he can eat/do what he wants… So we order it and he gets the bag and puts it in-between himself and the driver-side door so its not staring at me in the face (aww so considerate)…. So I’m all “you can put it on the center console so it doesn’t fall and spill everywhere” so he does…

I literally looked out the window because all I can smell is those fries… (and if you know me, I’ve never really been a fry fan anyways … but ohhhh Good Times fries just sounded good.. ) .. so I looked down and there is seriously a little fry sticking out of the bag, I swore it was like mocking me. hahha.

So I looked at him and was like .. ” yeah put this back over to your side and we need to go home NOW, so I can make my chicken and asparagus” lol… he just laughed at me and headed  home…. So that’s my story.. I think it was funnier in person, oh well… but anyways I made these and they weren’t “Good Times” fries, but they definitely curbed that craving!!!  ENJOY!

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Recipe:

You’ll need:

As many potatoes as you want ( I used Red Gold for this and I only used 2 potatoes total… but then again I can only have so many carbs right now … so keep that in mine, One potato this size measures out to be about 1 cup)

and Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb Seasonings …

THATS IT! BOOM!  ( p.s. I love minimal ingredient recipes!!! )

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How to:

  • Put potatoes into desired shapes or slices
  • Pre- Heat Oven to 345
  • Lay a piece of parchment paper onto a baking sheet and spread out the potato chunks evenly on the baking sheet.
  • Sprinkle Ms. Dash seasoning onto the pieces – jut enough to lightly cover them (it helps if you flip them too so the seasoning gets everywhere)
  • Bake for about 20-25 min depending on how fast your potato cooks. … (I did turn on the broiler for out 5 min just so they came out a little more golden and crisp! )
  • Let cool and Enjoy!

nom nom nom

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Side note: You can basically do this with any potato and any seasoning, no need for oil which helps save on calories!! =) – I might try a southwest Chipotle seasoning next time!

Also, I found a lower sugar Ketchup that’s not too bad either!  But different flavored mustards are delish too!

kats5 cal per tablespoon – 1g sugar! BOOM

10 and 11 Weeks Out

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Less than 70 days till I step on that stage in my hooker heals and sparkly bikini! Oh my gosh guys.. If you ever think about doing this make sure your ready for all the craziness that goes with it haha. A part of it is pretty simple if you think about it, eat super clean 24/7 along with some pretty intense workouts.

But along with the obvious, no one really talks about the mental aspect of it. There will be days you will want to quit, not give it your all, slack off, cheat on your diet, want to eat an entire subway sandwich and oh so many more things. But needless to say were doing this! ( I keep having to tell myself that for some reason).

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So here is my 10 and 11 weeks out pics and I’m not sure if its because I had a really weird dream the other day but I kind of had an epiphany. After all the things I’ve been through with preparing for this and just in life in general (car accident on my birthday, first broken bone, still dealing with getting my settlement and of course some family craziness ..who doesn’t have those haha)  along with weight (gain and loss), struggles with self acceptance, eating habits, knowledge and just learning to believe in myself its kinda ironic that I have to pep talk myself up sometimes.

With that being said I made a short little list ( and I have more than this) but here are some top reasons I keep telling myself WHY I’m doing this. Its always important to have a goal, but more importantly you need to have a WHY. And your Why ideally should almost scare you, make you cry in joy and excite you all in one…

And your “why’s” should be more than the obvious … like to look hot… common everyone wants that but its not deep. Dig deep!!!

  1. To prove to myself and others (more for myself though) that I can do this the healthy way. To be healthy mind, body, soul and to not have any self hate towards myself as a person nor towards the body I live in.
  2. To push myself  ( I’ve always had a good sense of drive with whatever I choose to do) When I think about how hard something is I want to automatically realize that I can accomplish anything. Put in the work, get the results of the work put in. Not easy but it will be worth it.
  3. I can honestly say that I no longer want to be “skinny” nor do I really like that word either… skinny. It rubs me the wrong way now, and for a good reason. I can see a girl walking around who is particularly “Skinny”… That’s not my goal anymore, nor is it honestly attractive to me really (just my opinion). I want to be “FIT” I want people to look at me and tell that I strive for this, that I work for it and I look healthy. A well build physique is attractive to me, no one can buy it or give it to me and it shows that I put in the work to obtain it.
  4. I also like to think of myself in the future. I see so many adults or even people who are younger than me have too many health problems and usually looking and even acting 20 years older than they are. Not only that but they have kids and its hard for them to keep up with their own kids. I want my family to be active, healthy and I want to enjoy that with them when the time comes. I see it as I pay a little extra to take care of myself now so I wont have to pay for it when I get older at the doctors.
  5. .. this one really isn’t a “why” but … when you start to see things in a positive light, more and more positive things start to come to you. You get a promotion, you receive good news from a friend … ect. the more positive vibes if you will that you put out there, the more that will come your way. sounds crazy but its true. … don’t believe me. try it .. just for shits and giggles =)

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wpid-img_20140731_105255.jpgSlow progress but its still progress. Pacience is key here and staying motivated can take its toll.

” Decide you want it more than your afraid of it!!” – Bill Cosby

 

ps.. I also found this gum and its amazing haha. Thought I would share it with ya’ll. Its called Yum Yum Gum. They pretty much have every flavor thought of … when pumpkin pie gets in season … OH ITS ON!!! =P

 

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