6 and 5 weeks out

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As time goes on and the days pass a part of me is so nervous and excited and just thrilled I’m actually doing this (no turning back now!) but another part of me is rather relived and happy its almost over. Weird I know. I feel like the whole thing is going to be a bittersweet moment. The joy of being up on that stage (I’ve always loved the limelight ) knowing that I accomplished this goal that in all honestly was WAY harder to complete then I even imagined when I first started. But yet, I can begin to “live” again. Most people don’t realize how hard it is to sit there at a wedding/ baby shower/ anywhere with your 3oz of chicken and 8 asparagus spears while everyone else gorges on things like cake and BBQ ribs in front of you. Me, personally I didn’t mind it, I learned to live through other people, especially Evan hahaha. When we went on our vacation up to Vail I brought all my food and still continued to eat just like I do now, meanwhile he had things like pizza, peach pie, big burgers…… fricken waffle fries.. (not going to lie I wanted a waffle fry haha)

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When a friend of mine was telling me about “off season” and how all the pros of fitness take time off they eat things like pizza, doughnuts and good stuff.. I thought it sounded silly. Since the past 3-4 years through my whole weight loss I literally cannot remember the last time I ate a piece of pizza and since I have been eating clean for this long my thought when she said that to me was “but why would I ruin what I’ve just done??”

Let me just tell you now, I understand completely what she was talking about! through this prep (granted mine was a bit harder because I’ve been on such a prolonged clean diet for so long) … but literally I’ve never craved so much “unhealthy” food in my entire life. I probably pinned about 80 different pumpkin desert recipes on my pinterest the other day- no joke! And the fact that my body is handling whey (dairy) better now makes it even more dangerous!

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So not really sure what’s going to happen at the end of all this to be quite honest. I don’t want to make myself sick (even though I hear that is totally something every competitor does after a show hahah) but I do have a nice little list in my mind of all the different foods I want after this is over. Things like BBQ ribs, pumpkin….. well pumpkin anything!, Oreos, smothered burrito, tostadas, spaghetti … the list goes on…. guess we will see what happens eh?

 

ok without further ado, here are my 6 week and 5 week updates.

6 weeks out

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5 weeks

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I also got to pick out the color of my bikini! How exciting… I was so happy when my coach told me I should do pink or purple (my two favorite colors!!! ) so we opted for one in between its kinda a pinky-purple. … and it matches my gym bag, and my food prep bag haha. LOVE!!! I also was going back and forth between which connectors to use (connectors are the jewels on the bikini that hold it together… I picked the ones I’m going to use.. ya’ll will just have to wait and see which ones heee heee ;P

wpid-img_20140904_172117.jpgoh and I found more amazing PB that I can only eat when Evan isn’t around hahaha .. they need to make flavored almond butter and we’d be in business!!! Also here are some fun pics of Vail!! .. lol our maid probably thought a weirdo was staying there. =P

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Life is hard to balance at times …… (14 and 13 weeks out update)

Oh my gosh guys! Sorry life is definitely busier than usual but I’ll try my best to keep it updated! haha.

Between the training, cooking, eating (all I feel like I do is eat btw haha), work and everything else it is all I can do to just come home and not pass out right away …

Now, if you have been following me on instagram, you’ll know that my weight keep fluctuating and this is something I personally find extremely annoying and I know I need to learn not to let it get to me. … with that being said its a good thing I take measurements now and pictures every week because that’s the only way I’m really seeing a difference. But its a good difference! =)

Week 3 (14 weeks out from show.)

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Going into week 4 (13 weeks out from show)

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hardest part so far? … cardio on those damn stairs.. I tell ya we have a love/hate relationship right now .. and cravings OMG… I just want a PB and J lol….

MY CRAVING CRUSHERS:

  • Gum – deserts
  • mints
  • sparkling water!!! – look for no sugar/sodium/ nothing…
  • tea
  • spices

ooh that  list looks sad lol.

OH also… I have the best boyfriend ever! we past 4 years on the 4th of july … he got me this!!

oh…so … beautiful….

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Lemon & Garlic Kale Chips

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So with my diet being pretty limited to veggies and meat mainly haha, I’m always looking for new ways to spice it up!!! So I made KALE CHIPS! … (even my boyfriend liked them… which was a surprise! ) <— ps. I love when he likes my health food hahah.

Ok enough bibble -babble! On to the Recipe!!!!

Its suuuper simple too. YAY!

You’ll Need:

  • 2 tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
  • A bundle or two of fresh kale, washed and chopped.
  • 6 Garlic cloves, chopped. (or more if ya want… I’m a garlic freak so if you ever ask me… you can never have enough garlic!!!)
  • 1-2 tbsp. Sea Salt (one if you use one bunch, 2 if you make 2 bunches worth)
  • 2 tbsp. Lemon juice or one whole lemon freshly squeezed.
  • 1 tbsp. Black pepper

 

How to:

  • Wash Kale bunches and chop off ends, and then chop into “chip” size pieces.
  • Pre-heat oven to 325
  • In a large bowl mix all ingredients. (Olive Oil, Lemon, Salt, Pepper)
  • Place chopped up kale into bowl and mix around so the oil gets all over it all and you can even let it marinade for a while if you’d like. ( I let mine marinade for about 15 min)
  • On a baking sheet, spread out kale pieces onto sheet and then sprinkle the chopped up garlic cloves on top.
  • Bake for about 15-20 min until the kale pieces seem crispy at the end.
  • Let cool, and ENJOY!!!

Note: it helps if you every once in a while toss the leaves so some don’t end up burnt.. ( you know the ones on the sides of the pan) . …. lol.

 

Stop making excuses

So I felt like this was something I needed to write because my boyfriend caught me cheating on my diet last night and what did I automatically do? .. Got defensive and started making excuses… We’re all human, we all do it to some extent the real thing is to understand why and to see what it will do in the long run, and to realize how important your goals are to you.

” The first step in achieving your goal, is to take a moment to respect your goal. Know what it means to you to achieve it.” Dwayne Johnson (The Rock)

 

 

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So everyone has done/said it. Evan I used to think some of these things and still try to justify something when I know I’m only sabotaging myself haha… … and made excuses for why I was doing what I was doing only to regret it later on … why??? . Its only human I think and its natural too, but with that being said, were going to actually stop and think of WHY we do this to ourselves and actually realize that what we’re telling ourselves are truly only one thing…. an excuse.

So here are some main ones I’ve heard and even said too …

  • I don’t have time : O my GOSH! Who does anymore? I said the same thing for many of years…. finally, my Jr year of college, 18 credits full time, working 2 jobs going from 4 am to 9 pm every day pretty much …. found the time. The key is to “find” the time, if you want it, you’ll find the time, just like you found the time to watch that favorite TV show. You have to learn to carve out time for the important things to you, start with those and then continue to do the less important things… like a to do list. Put it in your planner like its a conference for work or on your calendar so its there to remind you that it IS an priority …. you don’t have to workout for hours on end either, nor do you have  to go to  a gym. You can workout at home, take your kids to the park and workout while they play or even play with them. Say they ride their bike to the park, ride yours too, or jog by their side, you have to find ways to squeeze it in and pretty soon it will be one of the most important things you make time for! =)

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  • Its a special occasion! ……. yes it is! Maybe you’re at a wedding or a baby shower and everyone is celebrating and there is all this “not so healthy food” staring at you in the face. (Been there!) So think about it, just because its your birthday or someone else’s, doesn’t mean to over-do it… yea sure go ahead and have a piece of cake but keep in mind how you’re going to feel in the end if you do overdo it, and pig out all day with the excuse of “its a special occasion” … are you going to feel guilty the next day? Are you going to feel sick because your body isn’t used to foods like that anymore? Is it going to be harder for you tomorrow to get motivated to get your booty in the gym? Just take a step back and ask yourself what you want, what your goals are and if your going to let your food addiction take over and continue to make excuses for you….

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  • I don’t have motivation or I cant seem to get going:  yea it can be a little hard finding that one thing to get your butt kicked into gear, there are days when I don’t want to get out of bed and go to the gym, not even gonna lie, but then I realize what I’ve promised myself, what I’ve worked so hard for and how far I’ve come and I refuse to let the negative thoughts in mind take over and tell me otherwise. Plus I know deep down I will feel better if I just go do it instead of doing what again? Oh yeah making excuses not to go.

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  • Your young, I’m older it will be harder for me… you know what I have to say about that BLAH BLAH BLAH.. quit your bullshit. If you actually did some research, you’d come to find out that exercise is actually really good for older people (you should see how many grandpas and grandmas I have at my gym!!) How is it good you may ask? Well to start off, it helps with things like flexibility and muscle loss, along with preventing things like osteoporosis, arthritis, diabetes and soo much more. Plus the people I usually hear this from are like 40 years old… your not 90.. but if you were, I’d tell you the same damn thing. Yeah sure your metabolism slows as you age yes, but that doesn’t mean give up or don’t even try.

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  • If I deprive myself of this __”enter favorite food here”____ I’ll just eat more, or binge on it later. ….. ok so let me get this right…. you’re already planning on failing? Or are you just saying that so you can have your favorite fast food meal? This one hits home for me because I personally said this to myself ALL the time. When you actually read that sentence over again you start to realize how silly that sounds, your making a choice to eat whatever it is you want, its not like its a sacrifice, its not going to kill you to give up that Cold Stone or Taco Bell… your making it sound like its going to be the end of the world if you don’t get some junk food in your system. lol. Sure, hae a small treat, but no you don’t need one everyday, nor every week..

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  • I don’t want to go alone : Understandable, but who said you had to? See if your spouse will go with you, or even a friend who may be in the same boat… or even find that friend who DOES go to the gym all the time and see if you can go with them, they will probably be flattered and show you some great workouts to do to start out with. The buddy system is always nice because it keeps you going, it pushes you to go when you don’t want to. I know when I was going with a friend when I first started it helped because there were so many days when I didn’t want to go, but knowing in the back of my mind knowing she was going to be waiting for me there .. I didn’t want to A. let her down or bail on her… and B. knowing she had the same general goal, and she was doing it.. that means I could do it to …damnit!

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  • I’m too fat – ummm did you just hear the words that came out of your mouth? FIRST and foremost YOUARE NOT FAT- YOU HAVE FAT… you also have hair, are you hair? You also have eyelashes, and fingernails, and toes… are you any of those things? Nope! Your a real person with real feelings and a soul, you have insecurities, and accomplishments, and everything in between. So… first things first, stop calling yourself “fat” because you’re not making it any better by calling yourself names are you? Are you accomplishing anything by that? Honestly… … Next, just like the whole age excuse, having extra baggage isn’t an excuse to give up either. Sure it will be harder, but if it was easy everyone would be doing it. Start slow (depending how overweight you are).. things like walking (even if its to the end of the block and back) is going to better than doing nothing. Once you stop the self loathing, pity parties and possibly some self hate (sad to say)… decide to dig deep and realize where your at today, and how you’ve gotten to where you’re at. That’s when you’re going to either realize its time for a change or your going to just continue to be in the same rut you’ve been in for the past however many years. You have to make the decision and you have to change… you have to find that inner strength.

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  • I don’t know what I’m doing, or I feel like I look stupid : …..there comes a time where you just have to say screw everyone else lol… you have every right to be working out as the next person. Sure they may be skinnier, or fitter, or hell they may even be bigger than you. . . . EVERYONE has a right to make themselves a better version of themselves. I personally know the feeling of being intimidated by the gym, when I first started out I had a free week pass at 24 hour…and I hated it.. I hated the looks I got because I felt like the “fat” girl at the gym,  I hated all the mirrors everywhere staring at me reminding me of what I had let myself become. But in all honesty, I realize now that all those feelings I was having were more of my insecurities with myself. I seriously doubt that the fit girl running her little ass off cared if I was there, much less that I couldn’t keep up with her. Now! With that being said, I’m actually one of the fitter people at my gym now (amazing feeling when your realize that!!!) When I go to the gym, I see all kinds of people, and I have friends there too… I have a few younger girls that have just started off, and a couple old dudes with their knee high socks lol, but the point is, everyone is different, and everyone has different goals. You have to get it out of your mind that everything is a competition at the gym. I don’t care if the girl next to me is running slower or even faster, she’s at a different level and she has different goals. Same thing with the buff dude lifting weights… I will lift what I can lift and if it doesn’t measure up to your 50lbs dumbbells … well like I said before… screw you…. I’m here for me not you. < that’s the mindset you need.

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  • I had a busy/ crappy/ amazing day, I deserve a treat! : sure a treat once in a while is ok, but don’t let it always get the best of you. And you don’t always have to reward yourself with food either. Get a cute new outfit, or go get a pedicure… there are plenty of other ways to reward yourself than food. Think of what it took to get here, don’t sabotage it with a gigantic ice cream cone… Along with that, if you had a crappy day, its just going to be filled with guilt after you eat what your craving anyways… Done let your goal slip away because of frustration or anger.

 

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UPDATE: ….. setbacks wont stop me.

HAHA, so just a little update if your not friends with me on Facebook or don’t follow my instagram… New years hit, got a new trainer … was back at the gym doing my thing and prepping for the fitness competition still after all the holiday mumbo jumbo and the night before my birthday I got in a pretty bad car accident. I got t-boned on my passenger side, (thank god I didn’t have a passenger in that seat!) totaled my car, broke my first bone (my wrist) and had my first trip to the ER. whoo… my o my. Afterwards I thought I chipped my tooth because it was hurting to the extremes, turns out the accident just aggravated a root cannel I needed to get done … so there went some more money down the drain and it started to feel like u couldn’t catch a break since it had been 2 weeks and I hadn’t heard anything from my insurance about my car much less my medical stuff. And I still didn’t have a rental car….

After that, I kind of felt aggravated with myself because I’m the kind of person who likes to do things on her own. I’ve always been kind of independent that way. So with my boyfriend and everyone having to help me with simple little things I was feeling a little let down and just more nervous as to when I was going to be able to do all the things I did before. After a few meltdowns (usually over nothing or something very small) I realized my pain medication was making me depressed so I got off of those and that helped but I’m still jumpy when I see a car out of the corner of my eye while driving, but I know it will go away in time.

Finally insurance decided to help me out and get me a renal car (a tiny ass fiat 500… I live in Colorado and its the middle of winter people) but it was better than the rear wheel sports car they wanted to put me in right after it was a blizzard outside. They gave my money for my old car that was proclaimed a total loss.. and I went out searching for a new car. Thinking I found the car (craigslist – independent offer from the looks of the add). We met the guy looked at it, Evan (my boyfriend) being a mechanic could tell it had been wrecked but the owner said it was just small… So as I go to the bank the next day to pull out a loan I call the guy to make sure I spell his name right on the check… he said I have to go through his dealer Lada Auto Sales … (flag #1). If it was at a dealer, why didn’t the Craigslist state that and why did we meet somewhere instead of at the dealership?…. Then, his manager called me telling me there was going to be all these fees (Flag#2) which is one of the reasons we were looking on craigslist so we wouldn’t have those fees… and the guy that showed us the cars even said there were going to be none. So as I get the loan and everything set up I get this feeling in my gut then something is wrong… I tell Evan everything that’s been going on and the next day at work he pulls the Carfax. Turns out the car was a total loss vehicle and they fixed it up. So lie after lie, the guy calls me asking when Im going to come pick it up and I basically turn into a mother, chewing him out and asking him to explain himself lol….. he basically had nothing to say but “he didn’t lie” ***ahem…bullshit** and that he was going to pay the dealer fees …? stupid if you ask me. Evan called the dealership and talked to the manager and basically told him what was up and he said the same crap! …So we reported them to the BBB (Better Business Burro).

Here’s the real kicker …. when you pull out a loan from a bank for a car, you have to have full coverage insurance on that car…. you cant get insurance on a vehicle when its been a total loss…. so I would have been screwed either way. But ya know, they said what they were doing wasn’t illegal and that car had a Clean Title …. oye!

So after all that we decided ..just for peace of mind… to go through a dealership to find a car. So I came back to Toyota and started looking at Camry’s for the heck of it .. and I found a car! And I fricken love it!!! 2009, V6, fully loaded, leather and black interior, Red outside… its pretty=) After buying this car, turning in the peanut ( I called the fiat that because it was sooo small) I felt a weight lift. I (hopefully) get my cast off Wednesday .. and will probably have to do physical therapy. . . .

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I’ve been going to the gym and doing cardio and legs with my cast .. gotten some weird looks but I  don’t care.. hahaha. cant wait till I can start doing arms and back again….

So all in all, that’s whats been going on and why I haven’t had many posts since the beginning of the year… so as I get through all this, they will slowly start to increase more =)

Hope ya’ll are having a wonderful day!