10 and 11 Weeks Out

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Less than 70 days till I step on that stage in my hooker heals and sparkly bikini! Oh my gosh guys.. If you ever think about doing this make sure your ready for all the craziness that goes with it haha. A part of it is pretty simple if you think about it, eat super clean 24/7 along with some pretty intense workouts.

But along with the obvious, no one really talks about the mental aspect of it. There will be days you will want to quit, not give it your all, slack off, cheat on your diet, want to eat an entire subway sandwich and oh so many more things. But needless to say were doing this! ( I keep having to tell myself that for some reason).

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So here is my 10 and 11 weeks out pics and I’m not sure if its because I had a really weird dream the other day but I kind of had an epiphany. After all the things I’ve been through with preparing for this and just in life in general (car accident on my birthday, first broken bone, still dealing with getting my settlement and of course some family craziness ..who doesn’t have those haha)  along with weight (gain and loss), struggles with self acceptance, eating habits, knowledge and just learning to believe in myself its kinda ironic that I have to pep talk myself up sometimes.

With that being said I made a short little list ( and I have more than this) but here are some top reasons I keep telling myself WHY I’m doing this. Its always important to have a goal, but more importantly you need to have a WHY. And your Why ideally should almost scare you, make you cry in joy and excite you all in one…

And your “why’s” should be more than the obvious … like to look hot… common everyone wants that but its not deep. Dig deep!!!

  1. To prove to myself and others (more for myself though) that I can do this the healthy way. To be healthy mind, body, soul and to not have any self hate towards myself as a person nor towards the body I live in.
  2. To push myself  ( I’ve always had a good sense of drive with whatever I choose to do) When I think about how hard something is I want to automatically realize that I can accomplish anything. Put in the work, get the results of the work put in. Not easy but it will be worth it.
  3. I can honestly say that I no longer want to be “skinny” nor do I really like that word either… skinny. It rubs me the wrong way now, and for a good reason. I can see a girl walking around who is particularly “Skinny”… That’s not my goal anymore, nor is it honestly attractive to me really (just my opinion). I want to be “FIT” I want people to look at me and tell that I strive for this, that I work for it and I look healthy. A well build physique is attractive to me, no one can buy it or give it to me and it shows that I put in the work to obtain it.
  4. I also like to think of myself in the future. I see so many adults or even people who are younger than me have too many health problems and usually looking and even acting 20 years older than they are. Not only that but they have kids and its hard for them to keep up with their own kids. I want my family to be active, healthy and I want to enjoy that with them when the time comes. I see it as I pay a little extra to take care of myself now so I wont have to pay for it when I get older at the doctors.
  5. .. this one really isn’t a “why” but … when you start to see things in a positive light, more and more positive things start to come to you. You get a promotion, you receive good news from a friend … ect. the more positive vibes if you will that you put out there, the more that will come your way. sounds crazy but its true. … don’t believe me. try it .. just for shits and giggles =)

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wpid-img_20140731_105255.jpgSlow progress but its still progress. Pacience is key here and staying motivated can take its toll.

” Decide you want it more than your afraid of it!!” – Bill Cosby

 

ps.. I also found this gum and its amazing haha. Thought I would share it with ya’ll. Its called Yum Yum Gum. They pretty much have every flavor thought of … when pumpkin pie gets in season … OH ITS ON!!! =P

 

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UPDATE: ….. setbacks wont stop me.

HAHA, so just a little update if your not friends with me on Facebook or don’t follow my instagram… New years hit, got a new trainer … was back at the gym doing my thing and prepping for the fitness competition still after all the holiday mumbo jumbo and the night before my birthday I got in a pretty bad car accident. I got t-boned on my passenger side, (thank god I didn’t have a passenger in that seat!) totaled my car, broke my first bone (my wrist) and had my first trip to the ER. whoo… my o my. Afterwards I thought I chipped my tooth because it was hurting to the extremes, turns out the accident just aggravated a root cannel I needed to get done … so there went some more money down the drain and it started to feel like u couldn’t catch a break since it had been 2 weeks and I hadn’t heard anything from my insurance about my car much less my medical stuff. And I still didn’t have a rental car….

After that, I kind of felt aggravated with myself because I’m the kind of person who likes to do things on her own. I’ve always been kind of independent that way. So with my boyfriend and everyone having to help me with simple little things I was feeling a little let down and just more nervous as to when I was going to be able to do all the things I did before. After a few meltdowns (usually over nothing or something very small) I realized my pain medication was making me depressed so I got off of those and that helped but I’m still jumpy when I see a car out of the corner of my eye while driving, but I know it will go away in time.

Finally insurance decided to help me out and get me a renal car (a tiny ass fiat 500… I live in Colorado and its the middle of winter people) but it was better than the rear wheel sports car they wanted to put me in right after it was a blizzard outside. They gave my money for my old car that was proclaimed a total loss.. and I went out searching for a new car. Thinking I found the car (craigslist – independent offer from the looks of the add). We met the guy looked at it, Evan (my boyfriend) being a mechanic could tell it had been wrecked but the owner said it was just small… So as I go to the bank the next day to pull out a loan I call the guy to make sure I spell his name right on the check… he said I have to go through his dealer Lada Auto Sales … (flag #1). If it was at a dealer, why didn’t the Craigslist state that and why did we meet somewhere instead of at the dealership?…. Then, his manager called me telling me there was going to be all these fees (Flag#2) which is one of the reasons we were looking on craigslist so we wouldn’t have those fees… and the guy that showed us the cars even said there were going to be none. So as I get the loan and everything set up I get this feeling in my gut then something is wrong… I tell Evan everything that’s been going on and the next day at work he pulls the Carfax. Turns out the car was a total loss vehicle and they fixed it up. So lie after lie, the guy calls me asking when Im going to come pick it up and I basically turn into a mother, chewing him out and asking him to explain himself lol….. he basically had nothing to say but “he didn’t lie” ***ahem…bullshit** and that he was going to pay the dealer fees …? stupid if you ask me. Evan called the dealership and talked to the manager and basically told him what was up and he said the same crap! …So we reported them to the BBB (Better Business Burro).

Here’s the real kicker …. when you pull out a loan from a bank for a car, you have to have full coverage insurance on that car…. you cant get insurance on a vehicle when its been a total loss…. so I would have been screwed either way. But ya know, they said what they were doing wasn’t illegal and that car had a Clean Title …. oye!

So after all that we decided ..just for peace of mind… to go through a dealership to find a car. So I came back to Toyota and started looking at Camry’s for the heck of it .. and I found a car! And I fricken love it!!! 2009, V6, fully loaded, leather and black interior, Red outside… its pretty=) After buying this car, turning in the peanut ( I called the fiat that because it was sooo small) I felt a weight lift. I (hopefully) get my cast off Wednesday .. and will probably have to do physical therapy. . . .

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I’ve been going to the gym and doing cardio and legs with my cast .. gotten some weird looks but I  don’t care.. hahaha. cant wait till I can start doing arms and back again….

So all in all, that’s whats been going on and why I haven’t had many posts since the beginning of the year… so as I get through all this, they will slowly start to increase more =)

Hope ya’ll are having a wonderful day!

Goal Setting 101

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Why set goals? Well setting goals and actually keeping yourself accountable to those goals are two different things. So we’re going to talk about some basics you should always be thinking about when setting specific goals and then, how to actually keep those goals until your reach it. And then you learn to set even more or higher goals as each goal becomes achievable. =)

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1. Why? think of why you want to achieve a specific goal. Your why should make you cry….. and not necessarily cry in a bad way, but it should bring you happiness. It should make you feel excited and maybe a little intimidated too. But you also need to learn to channel that fear or since of intimidation into fuel to drive you to complete whatever your goal is. I’m a list maker so I like to make lists of why I want to achieve a goal…. I know it sounds really weird and maybe stupid to some but when you actually sit down and write out like 10 reasons WHY you want to achieve something, it makes you more aware of where you’re at and what you still need to do to accomplish your goal. I like to dig deeper too, rather than just thinking of basic things most people think of first right away. Example: My fitness competition; yeah I could wright I want to be skinny and fit and feel good…. but that’s a pretty “basic” reason why people think of when you set a goal towards health and weight…. instead I dig deeper. One of my reasons is to prove to myself that I can loose weight/be fit and healthy without having to worry about calories, to not feel like I’m obsessed with what I put in my body and to be confident in my own skin. To prove that I can do this the “right way” and not feel like I’m starving myself of feel like I’m doing something harmful to my body. To feel like I wont have to “suck it in” in every picture I take and to not have that constant worry about if I look “chubby”. …….. ok, that was more than one reason … but ya’ll get the drift. Dig deep, find reasons that you are afraid to tell someone or maybe afraid to admit. (also, when you have a list, put it somewhere where you will see it on a regular basis, it will remind you and you’ll be more inclined to strive for your goal)

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2. Set large goals and then mini goals to achieve that larger goal. Basically as I wrote above, you don’t want to just write “lose weight” . Yes that can be your larger goal, but make smaller goals to get there too because if that’s your only goal, your probably going to get frustrated when you only lose 5 lbs and then give up. So with in that goal make a “loose 5 lbs by _____” date. Or a “be able to run a mile by the end of the month” . And the more in detail you get the easier it is to actually start to see that goal taking place (this is called visualization… ) Start to visualize what you want…. sounds crazy but it helps.

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3. Reward yourself and be proud of everything you HAVE accomplished. when you meet each mini goal, reward yourself (preferably not with food) but maybe go get a pedicure …or I like to buy workout clothes so ill go get a new sports bra or something… but keep it small. Also have a bigger goal for when you accomplish that BIG goal, have a BIGGER reward. (mine for when I’m done with the competition is to get my first tattoo =D ) ….. Also, say you don’t lose that 5lbs the first week but you lose a pant size or you just feel better health and energy wise, recognize that and always be proud of what you have accomplished. Keep pushing towards your goal and it will soon come. Patience is a virtue.

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4. Make your goals SMART… most of you probably know this… but here is what a SMART goal is:

  • S       Specific
  • M     Measurable
  • A     Attainable
  • R     Realistic
  • T     Time-bound

So obviously it has to be realistic, you cant make a goal to be 6’5 and be a famous basketball player when you’re 4’11… its just not going to happen. You have to have a goal in mind and a plan of how you want to achieve it and then you have to set a date because … sorry but how many people set a goal at the beginning of the year to “be healthier” and then they are good for about 2 weeks and then give up…. that’s because their goal wasn’t set into action with the SMART goal in mind and they didn’t make a “plan” … its all about the plan and path you make….

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5. Make your goals POSITIVE! when writing your goals…. don’t write “I don’t want to be fat” …. that’s in a negative context. Wright them in a positive one and say ” I’m going to be healthy and fit”. Same with the way you think as well, don’t think a goal is unattainable because in all honesty you pretty much can do anything you put your mind to if you set the right goals towards that direction. If a goal seems unattainable at the time (and believe me I’ve been there) that is why you set the “mini” goals to help it seem  like that goal isn’t to far fetched. When I was a size 14 did I ever think I would fit into a size 5? Hell no! HAHA it seemed like that was going to take forever and in all honesty seemed impossible at the time which can be overwhelming… That’s because my thinking was in the wrong mindset and I was only thinking of .. “omg, I’m fat and I need to lose weight” Once I changed my thinking and started focusing on how fitness made me feel … (which was happy and full of energy) that’s when the weight started dropping off… and once it starts going… man its like a high. You start to get excited and you want to keep going, and then someone comments and you get this giddy feeling and feeling of pride and accomplishment and it just keeps continuing so on and so forth. Its your job is to keep setting those goals to reach new goals once you have achieved one.

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6. The buddy system. Do you have a buddy with the same goal or maybe a similar one? If not, FIND ONE! They are the best! I have build a friendship with one girl in particular (whose name is Amanda ironically haha)  through this whole journey and I know that if I didn’t have her this goal would not be the same. She was a bigger girl too and we first just started going to the gym together.. just to help us stay accountable and not give up. But as we keep dropping weight that’s when we decided to do the fitness competition together… so were both striving for the same goal. We hold each other accountable, we bitch to each other when were sick of drinking protein shakes and we still have learned to laugh through the whole process. We have both talked about it being too hard and wanting to pull out of the whole thing. But we continue to look at the bigger picture and realize where we have came from. We continue to share when we have reached one of our “mini” goals and/or just something positive and exciting happening in our lives. Needless to say, find someone who has the same or similar goal and it will make it easier not only with keeping yourself accountable but find someone with that same positive attitude towards it that can pull you up when you may be a little down.

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and most important reason to be fit is (drumroll please! )

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=)

Now quit reading and go set some goals!!

The #1 Weight Loss Secret!!!

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What could it be????

If you guessed thinking positive you are correct my friends! I know this is going to sound like a hunk load of crap, but its sooo true its scary! And I know I’m going to sound like a lunatic and a crazy lady as well… Just hear me out..

So throughout my teenage years and through some adult years (and even still I catch myself having negative thoughts too), but I’ve always thought of myself as “fat” or “thick” or “on the bigger side” …Whatever you want to call it. I never thought of myself as fit, thin, confident, happy in my skin… you get the point. So the more I was unhappy with myself and thought all these horrible things about weight loss and such .. the more I gained weight… I’d think,” if I cant have A,B, and C foods this sucks, I hate this” (negative- negative- negative). Or “this is too hard, or I CANT do this” Any negative thought … it only made it worse (and of course you don’t realize this when your doing it…) Nothing positive came from me doubting myself, nothing came from me putting myself down, or belittling myself, or even just looking in the mirror and hating what I saw… NOTHING I TELL YOU!!!

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So, what happened? – I stopped focusing on weight, I stopped looking at going to the gym as a purpose for weight loss only, I focsed on how working out made me feel and how well I slept at night, and how much more energy I had. Don’t get me wrong, it took me a good 3-4 months till I even started seeing any results whatsoever, but I wasn’t in it for that by then, when the weight started dropping it was almost like a bonus to my new happy and energetic mood. Then the drive kicked in even more!!!

So when you are dreading a workout, or a new health meal plan, your basically sabotaging yourself from the start. Your already doubting yourself without even trying. Yes, it will be hard, but if you focus on even the end game your better off. Also, when you’re negative about ..anything for that matter… you are bringing you own mental psyche down, you’re creating a depressing mood with negative thoughts (you may not be depressed emotionally- but any negative thoughts are depressing if you think about it … ). Its un-motivating and tiring and its going to get you no where. Have you ever noticed the happiest people have everything going for them? And the people that are always down, are usually negative and everything that could go wrong, goes wrong? … Yes the positive people are going to have their hurdles, but they overcome them, life goes on. That’s almost how you have to start thinking, on the positive side.

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When you constantly think “I’m fat, I’m fat, I’m fat” your mind starts to believe it. Simply put, you can either talk yourself into doing something about it, or you can talk yourself out of it. You choose. And I hear people say, “But its the way I think, because I am fat” or something along those lines…. don’t focus on that, find something you love about yourself (at the time for me ..when I was around 200, it was my hair, my eyes and … not to be weird, but at the time -my big boobs haha) So I focused on something positive, then I’d loose some weight and then id be focused on how great I felt… YAY! So then I started focusing on that.. and the cycle of positivity continued. Now that I’m in the 140’s, I have no boobs anymore, they are tiny compared to what I’m used to, am I focusing on that I miss them? yeah, maybe a little haha, but I know they flatter my new body and THATS what I’m focused on, I’m focused on toning up now, and being fit rather than “sexy”. I focus on the energy I have in the mornings and the fact that I don’t really need to set an alarm to dread when it goes off at 6 am for the gym because I automatically wake up that that time … and I actually look forward to my workouts more. you have to make it a habit, and now-a-days I almost feel weird not getting my daily workout in. I feel drained and moody too…. Its weird but set mini goals for yourself, and make a goal to beat that goal.. you can do anything if you start believing in yourself and you look at the positive ways of life.

Even though I know I have a lot further to go, and I look forward to that journey, I’m very happy with where I am and I’m only looking forward =)

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