Stop making excuses

So I felt like this was something I needed to write because my boyfriend caught me cheating on my diet last night and what did I automatically do? .. Got defensive and started making excuses… We’re all human, we all do it to some extent the real thing is to understand why and to see what it will do in the long run, and to realize how important your goals are to you.

” The first step in achieving your goal, is to take a moment to respect your goal. Know what it means to you to achieve it.” Dwayne Johnson (The Rock)

 

 

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So everyone has done/said it. Evan I used to think some of these things and still try to justify something when I know I’m only sabotaging myself haha… … and made excuses for why I was doing what I was doing only to regret it later on … why??? . Its only human I think and its natural too, but with that being said, were going to actually stop and think of WHY we do this to ourselves and actually realize that what we’re telling ourselves are truly only one thing…. an excuse.

So here are some main ones I’ve heard and even said too …

  • I don’t have time : O my GOSH! Who does anymore? I said the same thing for many of years…. finally, my Jr year of college, 18 credits full time, working 2 jobs going from 4 am to 9 pm every day pretty much …. found the time. The key is to “find” the time, if you want it, you’ll find the time, just like you found the time to watch that favorite TV show. You have to learn to carve out time for the important things to you, start with those and then continue to do the less important things… like a to do list. Put it in your planner like its a conference for work or on your calendar so its there to remind you that it IS an priority …. you don’t have to workout for hours on end either, nor do you have  to go to  a gym. You can workout at home, take your kids to the park and workout while they play or even play with them. Say they ride their bike to the park, ride yours too, or jog by their side, you have to find ways to squeeze it in and pretty soon it will be one of the most important things you make time for! =)

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  • Its a special occasion! ……. yes it is! Maybe you’re at a wedding or a baby shower and everyone is celebrating and there is all this “not so healthy food” staring at you in the face. (Been there!) So think about it, just because its your birthday or someone else’s, doesn’t mean to over-do it… yea sure go ahead and have a piece of cake but keep in mind how you’re going to feel in the end if you do overdo it, and pig out all day with the excuse of “its a special occasion” … are you going to feel guilty the next day? Are you going to feel sick because your body isn’t used to foods like that anymore? Is it going to be harder for you tomorrow to get motivated to get your booty in the gym? Just take a step back and ask yourself what you want, what your goals are and if your going to let your food addiction take over and continue to make excuses for you….

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  • I don’t have motivation or I cant seem to get going:  yea it can be a little hard finding that one thing to get your butt kicked into gear, there are days when I don’t want to get out of bed and go to the gym, not even gonna lie, but then I realize what I’ve promised myself, what I’ve worked so hard for and how far I’ve come and I refuse to let the negative thoughts in mind take over and tell me otherwise. Plus I know deep down I will feel better if I just go do it instead of doing what again? Oh yeah making excuses not to go.

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  • Your young, I’m older it will be harder for me… you know what I have to say about that BLAH BLAH BLAH.. quit your bullshit. If you actually did some research, you’d come to find out that exercise is actually really good for older people (you should see how many grandpas and grandmas I have at my gym!!) How is it good you may ask? Well to start off, it helps with things like flexibility and muscle loss, along with preventing things like osteoporosis, arthritis, diabetes and soo much more. Plus the people I usually hear this from are like 40 years old… your not 90.. but if you were, I’d tell you the same damn thing. Yeah sure your metabolism slows as you age yes, but that doesn’t mean give up or don’t even try.

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  • If I deprive myself of this __”enter favorite food here”____ I’ll just eat more, or binge on it later. ….. ok so let me get this right…. you’re already planning on failing? Or are you just saying that so you can have your favorite fast food meal? This one hits home for me because I personally said this to myself ALL the time. When you actually read that sentence over again you start to realize how silly that sounds, your making a choice to eat whatever it is you want, its not like its a sacrifice, its not going to kill you to give up that Cold Stone or Taco Bell… your making it sound like its going to be the end of the world if you don’t get some junk food in your system. lol. Sure, hae a small treat, but no you don’t need one everyday, nor every week..

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  • I don’t want to go alone : Understandable, but who said you had to? See if your spouse will go with you, or even a friend who may be in the same boat… or even find that friend who DOES go to the gym all the time and see if you can go with them, they will probably be flattered and show you some great workouts to do to start out with. The buddy system is always nice because it keeps you going, it pushes you to go when you don’t want to. I know when I was going with a friend when I first started it helped because there were so many days when I didn’t want to go, but knowing in the back of my mind knowing she was going to be waiting for me there .. I didn’t want to A. let her down or bail on her… and B. knowing she had the same general goal, and she was doing it.. that means I could do it to …damnit!

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  • I’m too fat – ummm did you just hear the words that came out of your mouth? FIRST and foremost YOUARE NOT FAT- YOU HAVE FAT… you also have hair, are you hair? You also have eyelashes, and fingernails, and toes… are you any of those things? Nope! Your a real person with real feelings and a soul, you have insecurities, and accomplishments, and everything in between. So… first things first, stop calling yourself “fat” because you’re not making it any better by calling yourself names are you? Are you accomplishing anything by that? Honestly… … Next, just like the whole age excuse, having extra baggage isn’t an excuse to give up either. Sure it will be harder, but if it was easy everyone would be doing it. Start slow (depending how overweight you are).. things like walking (even if its to the end of the block and back) is going to better than doing nothing. Once you stop the self loathing, pity parties and possibly some self hate (sad to say)… decide to dig deep and realize where your at today, and how you’ve gotten to where you’re at. That’s when you’re going to either realize its time for a change or your going to just continue to be in the same rut you’ve been in for the past however many years. You have to make the decision and you have to change… you have to find that inner strength.

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  • I don’t know what I’m doing, or I feel like I look stupid : …..there comes a time where you just have to say screw everyone else lol… you have every right to be working out as the next person. Sure they may be skinnier, or fitter, or hell they may even be bigger than you. . . . EVERYONE has a right to make themselves a better version of themselves. I personally know the feeling of being intimidated by the gym, when I first started out I had a free week pass at 24 hour…and I hated it.. I hated the looks I got because I felt like the “fat” girl at the gym,  I hated all the mirrors everywhere staring at me reminding me of what I had let myself become. But in all honesty, I realize now that all those feelings I was having were more of my insecurities with myself. I seriously doubt that the fit girl running her little ass off cared if I was there, much less that I couldn’t keep up with her. Now! With that being said, I’m actually one of the fitter people at my gym now (amazing feeling when your realize that!!!) When I go to the gym, I see all kinds of people, and I have friends there too… I have a few younger girls that have just started off, and a couple old dudes with their knee high socks lol, but the point is, everyone is different, and everyone has different goals. You have to get it out of your mind that everything is a competition at the gym. I don’t care if the girl next to me is running slower or even faster, she’s at a different level and she has different goals. Same thing with the buff dude lifting weights… I will lift what I can lift and if it doesn’t measure up to your 50lbs dumbbells … well like I said before… screw you…. I’m here for me not you. < that’s the mindset you need.

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  • I had a busy/ crappy/ amazing day, I deserve a treat! : sure a treat once in a while is ok, but don’t let it always get the best of you. And you don’t always have to reward yourself with food either. Get a cute new outfit, or go get a pedicure… there are plenty of other ways to reward yourself than food. Think of what it took to get here, don’t sabotage it with a gigantic ice cream cone… Along with that, if you had a crappy day, its just going to be filled with guilt after you eat what your craving anyways… Done let your goal slip away because of frustration or anger.

 

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The #1 Weight Loss Secret!!!

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What could it be????

If you guessed thinking positive you are correct my friends! I know this is going to sound like a hunk load of crap, but its sooo true its scary! And I know I’m going to sound like a lunatic and a crazy lady as well… Just hear me out..

So throughout my teenage years and through some adult years (and even still I catch myself having negative thoughts too), but I’ve always thought of myself as “fat” or “thick” or “on the bigger side” …Whatever you want to call it. I never thought of myself as fit, thin, confident, happy in my skin… you get the point. So the more I was unhappy with myself and thought all these horrible things about weight loss and such .. the more I gained weight… I’d think,” if I cant have A,B, and C foods this sucks, I hate this” (negative- negative- negative). Or “this is too hard, or I CANT do this” Any negative thought … it only made it worse (and of course you don’t realize this when your doing it…) Nothing positive came from me doubting myself, nothing came from me putting myself down, or belittling myself, or even just looking in the mirror and hating what I saw… NOTHING I TELL YOU!!!

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So, what happened? – I stopped focusing on weight, I stopped looking at going to the gym as a purpose for weight loss only, I focsed on how working out made me feel and how well I slept at night, and how much more energy I had. Don’t get me wrong, it took me a good 3-4 months till I even started seeing any results whatsoever, but I wasn’t in it for that by then, when the weight started dropping it was almost like a bonus to my new happy and energetic mood. Then the drive kicked in even more!!!

So when you are dreading a workout, or a new health meal plan, your basically sabotaging yourself from the start. Your already doubting yourself without even trying. Yes, it will be hard, but if you focus on even the end game your better off. Also, when you’re negative about ..anything for that matter… you are bringing you own mental psyche down, you’re creating a depressing mood with negative thoughts (you may not be depressed emotionally- but any negative thoughts are depressing if you think about it … ). Its un-motivating and tiring and its going to get you no where. Have you ever noticed the happiest people have everything going for them? And the people that are always down, are usually negative and everything that could go wrong, goes wrong? … Yes the positive people are going to have their hurdles, but they overcome them, life goes on. That’s almost how you have to start thinking, on the positive side.

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When you constantly think “I’m fat, I’m fat, I’m fat” your mind starts to believe it. Simply put, you can either talk yourself into doing something about it, or you can talk yourself out of it. You choose. And I hear people say, “But its the way I think, because I am fat” or something along those lines…. don’t focus on that, find something you love about yourself (at the time for me ..when I was around 200, it was my hair, my eyes and … not to be weird, but at the time -my big boobs haha) So I focused on something positive, then I’d loose some weight and then id be focused on how great I felt… YAY! So then I started focusing on that.. and the cycle of positivity continued. Now that I’m in the 140’s, I have no boobs anymore, they are tiny compared to what I’m used to, am I focusing on that I miss them? yeah, maybe a little haha, but I know they flatter my new body and THATS what I’m focused on, I’m focused on toning up now, and being fit rather than “sexy”. I focus on the energy I have in the mornings and the fact that I don’t really need to set an alarm to dread when it goes off at 6 am for the gym because I automatically wake up that that time … and I actually look forward to my workouts more. you have to make it a habit, and now-a-days I almost feel weird not getting my daily workout in. I feel drained and moody too…. Its weird but set mini goals for yourself, and make a goal to beat that goal.. you can do anything if you start believing in yourself and you look at the positive ways of life.

Even though I know I have a lot further to go, and I look forward to that journey, I’m very happy with where I am and I’m only looking forward =)

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Love Yourself, You’re Beautiful.

So this isn’t going to be one of my “normal” posts.. this isn’t about the latest workouts or a new recipe. Its about learning to love yourself =)

So the other day I got to thinking.. and partially looking at my strange addiction of health and fitness books I’ve accumulated over the years. And I thought of all the times when I was younger that I let my weight consume my life. Whether it was me not wanting to go to Easter with family because I had spent the entire morning trying on every piece of clothing I had in my closet and none of them made me look thin enough, or if it was just a group of friends wanting to go swimming in the summer.

I catch myself from time to time (Well Evan; my boyfriend, catches me now mostly) still behaving like this even though I’m not 210 anymore. I should feel more confident now right?! .. which I do… to an extent.

So the other day it was nice out, I put on a pretty yellow sundress and I automatically remembered how I used to look in it…. and that image just kept haunting me … and I started doing my passing thing that I do from my closet, to the bathroom mirror. Back and forth. Taking off the dress, putting on shorts and a talk top, to back to the dress, to just standing there in my bra and panties not know what the hell I want. Its quite frustrating… Finally, Evan (he knows me pretty well by now.. lol) Evan was like ” will  you stop it the dress looked fine!…besides I like you in dresses.” So I put the dress back on and decide to ignore the ugly voice inside my head telling me I look horrible. Later that day I got a few complements on that same very dress and it just goes to show you… don’t doubt yourself. And don’t always think the worse.

 

This is the pic that was coming back to me BTW. . . . not as horrible as I remembered..

So back to my thoughts, I remember all the things I didn’t do because I thought I was fat. Swimming, family get together’s (partially some of those, was the fact that I was afraid of the comments I would get … ) , college parties, shopping ect. Sometimes it wasn’t even the comments I would get either, it would be the fact that I felt so insecure in my own skin that I would “think” they were thinking rude fat comments about me and just get that awkward feeling while your in the same room as them. . . . I seriously doubt they thought some of the things I felt about myself, since I know most of those things were pretty harsh.

I remember telling my mom ( who is a bigger lady, with a heart full of love.. so she understood) that I didn’t want to go to some holiday function and I begged her to just lie and say I was sick.  Tell them anything but the truth basically. And she did, which at the time I was grateful for, but really I should have just sucked it up and went… the only one that was missing out was me.

Or like the summer when I stopped going to the lake every summer, or even today they still invite me and I still get that voice in my head, am I good enough? have I lost enough to go? I still deep down feel like I would be the biggest one there if I were to go..

I remember the Christmas Eve when I was planning to tell all my family to basically accept me the way I was or leave me out of their lives… I had it all planned out too. What I was going to say, how certain people made me feel..And honestly now that I look back, I don’t think they really realized how I felt anyways.. Like I don’t think they meant to make me feel that way ether. I think it was a combination of my insecurity tied in with the voice in my head with only a few comments here and there. So to me it was like Hell where as in all reality it probably wasn’t as bad as I was making it out to be at the time. Needless to say, sice my mother knew of my plan, she made sure that none of the family would say anything about my weight because “I was having a hard time with it” … So… all in all .. I cant snap and make a scene if no one makes a comment….. ! I was PISSED lol. I remember being livid. The ONE time they don’t say anything, and I have this HUGE plan.. they don’t say anything?! WTF. So I was mad at my mom for about a week and then finally let it go a decided it was probably good that I didn’t blow up on Christmas Eve. Ha-ha.

I have so many friends who are insecure..And I have some that are SOO confident beyond control. (or maybe they are really good at being themselves – which I think that’s the truth if it) The more you accept yourself for you- the more beautiful you’ll shine.

Even though I was bigger in this.. look at my confidence… =)

So the more I realize that weight isn’t the most important thing in the world ( but it still is very high on my list) The easier it is to accept myself for who I am. I’m  not a pant size, nor a dress size. I’m not someone who misses the fun in life, and I’m not one to think low of myself anymore. I’m me. That’s all I can be and I’m still (at the age of 24) learning this.. slowly I might add. Yes I may switch back and forth with tons of different diets and drive myself and everyone around me nuts while I’m doing so. But that’s who I am, no matter what I do with my life, who I have in it or not in it, or where I go.. I’m me. And I’m beautiful no matter what I weight.

So my advice, figure out who you are and embrace it, Love yourself and tell yourself you’re beautiful everyday. Because you are.

 

khlnfsdf me now. Same yellow dress =) Not as great quality of picture though haha.